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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Press my lipsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: steph1011
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 34/45/25
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 548



    Description:
       Comment please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPress my lipsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look at me in my eyes
    see what you want to see
    look in deep
    you might find something differant
    and want to keep.

    All I ask is you to try
    really make me feel
    like I deserver and I belong
    I want you to hear
    what I have to say..

    Press my lips
    give them kisses
    soft and silky
    so complete
    touch them fragile
    for they'll break
    only if you say
    the words that
    will make me drown
    of tears and sweat.




    Submitted on 2005-03-29 18:37:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought the first stanza and the third stanza were really good. But the second really doesn't fit.. I like the flow to this poem.. But I think it has the potencial. I think you should look it over though..

    But anyways I know how you feel with the whole thing.. I mean its a tough place to be in.. I mean its like are they really listening.. do they really understand.. Or are they just pretending, just so they can get a move. They try to impress, but really are they impressing you? All questions to ask..

    Well I enjoyed most of this.. I just think you need to check it over.. Maybe also through spell check..


    stephan*e
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]



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