Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing at Alldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 343



    Description:
       This is about those people that can sit and watch people go through pain, they are completely numb to anything...heartless I suppose.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing at Alldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit in an uncomfortable shell inside your heart
    in this place I feel nothing like you
    I can hate
    I can burn
    I can slowly pull the life from the eyes of those that love me
    In here, in this heart that never bleeds
    I feel they way you do
    or perhaps not...
    you seem to feel nothing at all




    Submitted on 2005-03-30 13:45:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it but the first line could use some tweaking. How about: "I sit in the uncomfortable shell of your heart" or "I sit in the uncomfortable shell that is your heart" ... just a thought.
    Anyway, about the meaning behind the words, I feel sometimes, as though I am this person you describe. For example, last Thursday was my great grandmother's funeral, and for some reason I was unable to cry. Don't get me wrong, I loved my grandma and I'm sad that she's no longer here but I just can't cry anymore. I feel as if my heart, as you said, is a shell. There's no more room for sad or happy, just empty. I mean I still have these emotions but I lack the feeling that lets you know they are real. You know the ones, the flutter in your chest when you know you love, or the dull ache that comes with sadness. These and more have left me. Only the shadow of feeling impresses its weight upon my heart, and I think it hurts.

    Owlman
    | Posted on 2006-05-05 00:00:00 | by owlman23 | [ Reply to This ]
      not bad, however one or two typos, and i'd reconstructure it and through in a few antonyms as opposed to what's currently there, well message
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey I agree with you. My family acts like that. They act like nothing is wrong but they know that there is something wrong. The sad thing is they know it has something to do with our family too. They act like there is nothing to feel. I like this poem it's very good.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
      great write looking in at someone that you love or no and to find they dont like love or need you the same is kind of a kick in the you can fill in the blank spaces that you just happen to find out about someone great post maybe read eyes of sandman
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    52376

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry