Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ?The Shoe Stare?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PookiezBookie
    ASL Info:    16/f/az
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 103/129/49
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1095
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 445



    Description:
       i was in English, and i just started starring at this girl in front of me and her shoes. It was really weird. hopefully no one saw me. lol. i just thought i would write a description on what i saw, but using a different context. different than the average write.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots?The Shoe Stare?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The soles forming triangular rivets of mystery.
    A dark, navy blue sky, outlined with a white lace and configuring a weary face of a screaming woman as she watches her baby being taken away by the aging of society.
    Inside, an imprinted mark given from birth with those many unique pathways that distinguish me from you.
    And last but not least, the logo of an ambassador imprinted, for life, at the end of a tall tale of lies.




    Submitted on 2005-03-30 17:22:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like this to, it was written real well with deepness and pure thought. good wording, good flow of realism and perfect in the view of open mind. keep it up girl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I dont think i have ever read something written about a shoe. But your imagery is so awesome that you forget that you are reading about a shoe. You take the reader beyond reality. You have an awesome talent if you can take something so simple and transform it into a new reality.

    -April
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by PierceMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa was all that on the shoes? honestly the metaphor is too thick for me to connect this to anny sort of footwear i've ever seen, but u chicks do be goin off on shoes tho. Ah well, its good like a descriptive writing exercise would be, altho the question would be asked as to how well the actual thing was described, albeit with good figurative language.
    shard
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    52417

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry