Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sonnet to Ravendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       This is my first successful sonnet. By which I mean I don't feel completely stupid and forced in writing it. I wrote it for Creative Writing the day after I wrote "The Wolf in Repose". It is about the same person, only here I saw myself in 60 years with her.

    What happens when we fade?

    The theme is reflected in her hair.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSonnet to Ravendots
    -------------------------------------------


    To stare across the table and to see
    Her face reflected, mirrored on your spoon,
    Her silver hair, translucent imagery
    To represent a dusk that came too soon.
    You run the road that flees before your feet,
    With every step the asphalt longer still.
    Your fingers fleeing, fearful, cease to meet
    Between the dying strands. Her face foretells
    The past. And were you with her long ago,
    Before these acid tearmarks lined her face?
    Before these raven feathers turned to snow?
    Yet every line must turn. Return from grace;
    You stop to rest the quarters on her eyes,
    Her hair continues growing as she dies.




    Submitted on 2005-03-30 19:02:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think that this piece was a good work in many way. The lines were all ten sylables except that still and foretels don't really rhyme you probrally already know that a sonnet follows the ababcdcdefefgg pattern of rhyme scheme and that line was out of place.

    i feel that the piece on the other hand was very worth of the time you put into it, because it has an extensive depth that really adds to the demensions that the reader is capable of translating.
    very well done.
    SLR
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by Raven_s Miser | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.