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murder


Author: Deacon
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 19 /23 /9
Words: 85
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1269
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 604



Description:


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


murder



Like a stork I strike.
Snatching youth from the light.
Laying in the moonlit mist.
A whirlwind of shouts.
Dismissing my doubt.

Held in.

Pushed down a hole.
swirling to and fro.
Till they consume my soul.
Hunger hast no hold on these evil crows.

Glistening black feathers shine light on whats tethered.

Searching for a wayout.
Into the night!
Struck down by cactus hands rooted in fright.

Butterfly eyes

Close them to this awful sight.





Submitted on 2005-03-31 08:23:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Oh how vivid and pretty ...Like Haecceity i could see this being taken on ....like a series ...I dont know ...It was wonderful in its self though ...The words and descriptions are great ...Much praise ...No nitpicking from me ..i wouldnt change a thing
| Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
  I was intrigued by this well-written poem, I also think it could be developed, is it about the police killing people? or just gang war murders? I love the "cactus hands" reference, I can see hands up in a spotlight beam, and I gave the ending a bodybag reference. I liked it a lot, and would love to hear more of the story. Be happy
Graeme
| Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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