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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Baby Do U Rememberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 294
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 607
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1596



    Description:
       Please tell me how u feel about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBaby Do U Rememberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Baby do u remember the nights
    I held u tight while we dance under the moonlight

    Baby do u remember the nights
    I started to kiss your neck, when I lit the candle lights.

    Baby do u remember the night
    I led u though house by putting down a trail of rose pedals and all we did was cuddle.

    Baby do u remember the nights
    we showed r lovers to each on top of those covers.

    Baby do u remember
    how I said I like the way u freaked it and how rode it like u where in a rodeo.
    I will never take that back,
    because I Looked at you shorty
    you really have it going on
    I liked the way you moved it girl
    When the dj played are song.

    Baby do u remember those nights
    o I sure do, and will never be able forget u.
    yet I every time I think of u
    My heart skips a beat and goes 10 times faster then the normal heart beat

    Baby I hope u remember
    O I hope u do
    If u don't than screw u

    Baby do u remember the nights
    I would come home after work, and bring u a rose every day, because I can't go a day without a giving something other than my love.


    Baby do u remember the nights
    I would stare into your beautiful eyes
    and I would not get tired because u saved my life from the knife. That once held my life.

    Baby I sure hope u remember
    because this is my love song to u.
    Because u are the one and the only one I love.




    Submitted on 2005-03-31 15:21:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with the comment posted before mine you shouldn't use "r" and "u" for replacement words(even if you are lazy) and it is so cute you wrote a song *says aw* has the person you wrote it for read it? nice little song dude
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      How did I feel about it? I really liked it. It shows gratitude and love towards whoever this is for. I really think you should quit using things like "u" and "r" and just type out the words. Also, the capitolization could be better. One more suggestion - when you said "and I would not get tired because u saved my life from the knife. That once held my life." In my opinion it would sound more rythmatic if it was something like

    "And I would not get tired because you saved my life from the knife.
    The knife, that once held my life."

    That last suggestion was just my opinion, but the thing about grammar is pretty important. I really did enjoy the poem, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Mia | [ Reply to This ]


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