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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No Onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Deadly Sauce
    ASL Info:    18--lady--NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 59/77/31
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 233
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 649



    Description:
       Written during a bad time...I know, ANOTHER angsty teen poem :P Sorry guys!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo Onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I cried tonight
    Who would come to my side?
    Who would be the warmth I need?
    Who would care so much,
    That I would change my mind?
    Who would make me feel like the world is worth the pain?
    Who would be there so sincerely?
    If I died tonight
    Who would come to take me away?
    Who would cry for the rest of their life,
    Because I’m not there?
    Who would visit my grave and ask “why?”
    Who would wish they had spoken out and gotten me help?
    Who would wish they were dead,
    Just so they could be with me?
    No one.
    There is
    No one.




    Submitted on 2005-03-31 15:27:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i know how you feel and i liked this poem for that but i think its underdeveloped.. u could probably improve it
    and in answer to your question... "no man is an island" someone will cry for you on your grave no matter how much you think no one will.
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      And Now JD Heckle answers your questions so you don't have to...
    1.no one
    2.anyone
    3.no one
    4.lil Santo
    5.Abdullah the Butcher
    6.Probably the Devil
    7.probably no one
    8.strangers just looking at headstones
    9...a little late but probably YOU!
    10.Lil Santo
    so there you have it you were wrong...on some things and I was right on all things.
    Over all you are full of angst and this poem was a good way to show it.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by JD_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      I can really relate to the feeling you wrote this with, and I must say, you expressed it very well!
    I liked your use of the word "who"(I think it emphasized the hoplessness of the situation very well).
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]
      i know what that's about it's just like some of my poems(unposted). and like sandman i found my peace in my writing, that's how i get things to go away, all my emotion, my pain, my sorrow, my regret, my fear, etc. aside from that i thought your poem was good. a very good "teen angst poem" very alike others but completely diffrent in its own way

    Misty *~*
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm kind of sounds like you or your character are lost or are feeling that way Very emotional when you no there is nobody waiting for you
    kind of like myself i have found peace without people through writing as now you have something to read and maybe put something in your eyes of sorrow
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]



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