Butterflies are beautiful,
They flutter like nothing can.
Hiding from the wind and rain.
They never see others pain.
All of them different.
All of them the same.
When I look at all the patterns, I nearly go
I'd say you go insane by all the many intricate patterns and details each one has. I like this short and simple poem. Not simple as in boring but as in what needs to be said is said... Makes one almost wish they "were" a butterfly. No worries.. except to stay out of the rain. An enjoyable read. Nicely done.
This line doesn't seem to relate to the rest of the poem. If the poem was about pain, then you could use it. But in this poem, you could try something else maybe like this: "Protect their colored span" (like in wingspan?)
With or without that change, I think you could improve the readability of this just by changing the formatting a little. Here's what I'd do:
Butterflies are beautiful, They flutter like nothing can. Hiding from the wind and rain. [Protect their colored span]
All of them different. All of them the same. When I look at all the patterns, I nearly go INSANE!
I love the brief spontaneity of this piece. It's sunshine on a rainy day! Thanks for sharing. bent
This one was short and simple, but in fact it was a bit too complicated... nevermind. I think that you do a great writting job, and remember to always be true to your art, you'll become a great writter.
^_^ by the way thanks for commenting my poem: the protector
Hehe, this is cute. Made me laugh. But silver is right it is a tad bit confusing. Maybe its the..patterns of a butterfly? Since..that is what you said to your second to last line. Other than that it was a cute one. ~Ma
So is it the beauty that almost makes you insane or the fact that they are all different and the same at the sametime? It is short and simple, but a little confusing. Just like the butterflies you marvel at.