Roleplay Cloud -

This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff

Roleplay Cloud -

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Go

Author:	InYuco Katan
ASL Info:	22/M/Tx
Elite Ratio:	4.04 - 43 /39 /14
Words:	188

Class/Type:	Poetry /Misc
Total Views:	1671
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1098

Description:

Go

GO
By: InYuco Katan

Feelings of Hate, pain, anguish
When will it end
Where will it end
Or will I just go

When I’m in Gods eyes
Will they cheer
Will they cry
Or will I just go

Will these be my last words
Will there be more
Will anyone ever love me
Or will I just go

Will it be fast
Will it be slow
Will it hurt
Or will I just go

Will it be for someone
Will it be for anyone
Will I die happy
Or will I just go

Will I get to say bye
Will I get to speak at all
Will I move
Or will I just go

Will I die in dignity
Will I die in disgrace
Will I die thinking
Or will I just go

Will I die from an illness
Will I die from a wound
Will I die in my sleep
Or will I just go

What will happen
I don’t know
I just want the misery to end
Take it God and do what you will

Submitted on 2005-04-01 23:18:40 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Comments

Um... ok I'm kinda confused... kinda very confused. I think I get what you're saying but its still not completely clear. The last stanze is what really through me off. It didn't seem to flow that much. It seems like you focused more on the style more than the message

| Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by Midnight_Rose | [ Reply to This ]

[censored] a, that's what I feel right now...
Well, I'm off for a big fight. Not that it matters.
I lost already. I just don't know it yet.

--Raistlin

| Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]

I find the simplicity of this poem adequate for the emotion you are expressing one of indifference. I think you meant to type end instead of "in" in lines two and three. Poetry is great because one doesn't have to adhere to the gramma rules I think. smile
~always with love Cheryl~

| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]

I think this is awesome. I read it earlier and couldn't think of an intelligent comment at the time...not that I have one now, but I thought that I would at least tell you that I liked it a lot. It's something that people DO think about, but not usually in detail. I liked the thoughts you included in this. Made me think.

| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]

I could be wrong, but in the first stanza, it seems like you meant "When will END? Where will it END?" - not "when will it IN." Taking out the word OR in the last line of that stanza
will make better sense.

Other minor changes I would make: "ARE these my last words, Will there be more..."

and

"Will I say goodbye? Will I speak at all?"
Also I would leave off the whole last stanza, excpet maybe the last line, because it's telling something that you have already made perfectly clear. The whole poem is already saying you don't know what will happen. No need to hit the reader over the head with the obvious.

Anyway, I'd like to hear it set to music. I think it does have a song-y quality to it.

Almost forgot... In the first stanza you have a noun - pronoun disagreement. "Feelings" is plural, "IT" is singular.

| Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]

52714

Sign up to EliteSkills

Go

Description:

Go

Rate This Submission

Comments

EliteSkills