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Message In a Bottle

Author: EternitysLyre
ASL Info:    20/M/Taiwan.
Elite Ratio:    7.13 - 152 /170 /42
Words: 210
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1184
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1600


....uh, yeah.

It should be difficult to understand, and really pretty-sounding but overly so. Because I'm trying to hide what it actually says. So..

Message In a Bottle

~"From thence dispensed the simple sense,
Come hither, thither thou doth wither,
And while the smiles shalt cost sixpence,
A stranded isle shivers, tense.."

It shimmers 'midst the waltzing waves as emerald, once a thoughtful gift
And every motion gently paves the wistful ways of all adrift
Ere first reception comes the salt, between cork and rim a rift
Of warmth and dampened wills to halt, an aqueous "what-if"

So long, a song so soft among
The faintest, quaintest, briefest lapse
Of wishes, misses, air-borne kisses
Alone to wake from sweet mishaps

Upon an aging, yellowed page the echos of before
Around, abound, the stencil stage; like silence, less is more--
Its destination sunk by hope and freedom far from shores
Determination worn, eloped with seconds lost to lore.

Behind the words unsteady wrist
From fragile-feather glassheart spills
The fervent, folorn winds and mist
Of dreams beyond the windowsils:

" (This is not a cry for help
...gave up on that long before
If you're reading this--

Don't come to my rescue.)
Please, please


Give me
[a way out]
(From remembering again--)"

Submitted on 2005-04-02 02:53:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Well, Jonathan, you've hidden the meaning, all right, but beautifully so. This one is going to take some analyzing. And it's so beautiful that I will come back to it.

And Jonathan, the rhyme is amazing. Truly. mae
| Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow... I felt like I was reading Poe.

Especially with the 'lore' and such.

Good job on old English. I had to write an epilogue for Great Expectations, and I wrote it like I was in 19th century England. It was so much fun.

I'm adding this to my faves so I can try and figure out the meaning. All I really caught from it was wind, and ocean/waves, and such. But I'm trying to improve my analyzing skills, so yeah.

This will definitely challenge me.

| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by poetofthenight | [ Reply to This ]
  omg... lol.. what did I just read????? Anyway, I was profoundly reminded of Shakespeare... Romeo and Juliet to be more precise... I read it a few weeks ago and the words and rhymes and rythm were as good or even better... wow... im comparing you to Shakespeare.. that's so cool... :) anyway... brilliantly writter... a true poet at heart... I give this one a 10 even though I have no idea what it means... it's beautifully done.. lol!
take care,
| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by margui | [ Reply to This ]
  That was beautiful!

As you intended, I have absoluetely no idea of what the poem means, but the wording and use of rhyme is splendid.

The rhyming seemed so subtle, it wasn't forced at all. Yet there was so much of it, rhyming within lines, rhyming with different lines.

I can't fault this, at all. I just really enoyed reading it, this is definitely being added to my favourites!
| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by Aspartame | [ Reply to This ]

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