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untitled


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 43
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 825
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 267



Description:


*shrugs*


untitled



Huddled in a corner
Hidden by the shadows
I am safe
but not for long...
The bats will all soar away
All the stars will disappear
-forgetting my wishing-
The sun will rise once more
To Murder my peaceful night




Submitted on 2005-04-02 13:35:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Ahhh the sun- my mortal and unmoral foe of a dying thousand deaths. Sigh... you LYKE Treybur? I am hurt. Dude is a fu<king ass-hatt... Anyway- yeah- sorry I have not been around much. IM me sometyme- I miss you! Thys was a great post- short and sooooo tru to form. Lyke a solar flare! Peace, love and candy from strangers- ~#6-
| Posted on 2005-04-07 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
  that is awesome! comfort in darkness. you did an incredible job turning dark imagery into something peaceful and tranquil. the ending, making the sunrise horrible, that is awesome irony. i'm impressed darlin :)
very very very well done!
| Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  here i am again... and must i say that i liked your last poem better but that is beside the point. i still like this one an di thikn that you should keep writin gthe way you are right now. btw i am going ot be writing a poem and i was wondering if you could read it first. i'll give it to you later. but again i really liked it. and i don't think that bats are original like that other person so yah you keep writing and i will keep coming out of my shadows to comment so yah THNX

- Nammy
| Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
  ooo i like the last line. mm definately not getting the deep meaning here but im not in a thinking mood so maybe if i tried i could figure it out. lovely, original stuff with the bats though :)
sophie
| Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem really reminds me of a vampire or some other night creature like that. I thought it was rather short but was very interesting. It seems like in only 41 words you got out alot. Nice job.
| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by vampirefreak69 | [ Reply to This ]
  I never really thought of bats "soaring" ..So that was an interesting term for me ..I can see where you were at in this peice ..Alot of comfort can be found in the night ..Expecially you have a poetic mind ...Or just a messed up one like me :D
Anyway ..this was short..But it packed a punch ...Good Job ...Blessed be
| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
  well, im the first one to read this. its definetly short but powerful. i think some use of punctuation will help the flow along. this poem has a good description and paints an immage in my head. it almost reminds me of a vampire or something...it seems like the character in this likes the night, and doesnt want the sun to rise.
xoxoxomuchlove-ash
| Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]


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