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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Night Terrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HurtDeepDown
    ASL Info:    24/F/OHIO
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 165/161/42
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1212



    Description:
       I must be in like a really disturbing mood right now for writing this poem. I don't know what came over me or how I even came up with this. It's not a real story so don't be frightened. Hope you like it I guess.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Night Terrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sink into my nightmare,
    That haunts me through the night,
    Mom tries to wake me up,
    But there is no response.
    Only screaming coming from my mouth,
    And tears strolling their ways down past my cheeks,
    Even mom cried herself to sleep.
    She was scared of me that night,
    When the world turned,
    And I tried escaping out my window,
    Thinking someone was there in my room.
    Mom could hear me crying out,
    And even me pounding on my window,
    I heard it again,
    A subtle voice coming from my mind.
    “Get away, get away”, that voice said to me,
    So I tried my hardest,
    And I punched the window until my hand was bruised and broken,
    I could feel myself moving in a backward forward motion fast,
    And I knew it was mom trying to wake me up.
    But that man in my dream,
    He told me not to listen to her,
    That she was what was holding me back all along,
    I couldn’t help it though,
    I woke up in the reality.
    Mom was standing there crying,
    With a gun in her hand,
    That man in my dreams was right,
    Cause mom blew her head off that night.




    Submitted on 2005-04-02 14:50:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      That was very disturbing the mom blowing her head off caught me by surprise. I must say though that night terror described sounds so much like an astral projection, I have night terrors alot but I wont go any farther with it because its too scary. mike :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yay! A happi ending! That was great- chills indeed- and such funn to read- I enjoyed it- and your other works- insanely. Perhaps because I am insane- but nevertheless- I think you have a huge amount of skill that I wish to be in lyne for! Peace, love and zombie Dave Thomas; reanimated founder of Wendy’s- ~#6-
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked that poem it was very realistic i thought . I mean yeah it was creepy and crap like that but it was very interesting. I liked the ending because it's something you wouldn't expect. I mean it just sounds like a nightmare but in the end the mom kills herself... i really didn't expect. Nice Job
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by vampirefreak69 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was very creepy at the end... where did that come from?! i have often suffered from night terrors, especially when i was a kid. not so much anymore. they are so real and hard to shake. this took me back to that. the mom thing, tho, that was a shock!
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa! that was creepy...but it had an excellent flow and an intense speed. i wasn't entirely alarmed by it, considering ive written a disturbing piece aswell, it wasn't true but one of my friends got ahold of it and freaked out. anyway its called a suicidal murder and ive got it posted.

    i really liked that and it was powerful the entire way through. i wasnt expecting that as an ending though, it was a surprise for me! my favorite part was:
    She was scared of me that night

    good job!
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      EEEEP....I have chills and goosebumps...I honestly wasn't expecting that ending....This seems pretty original to me...I dont know if others have written along those lines..but i really enjoyed it ...Cheers to you for such a powerful punch there....Seriously ...I'm sitting mouth open going "Oh Shit" lol ...
    Well done and Blessed be
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]


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