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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "The Man I See In Me"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 395
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1300
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2166



    Description:
       I don't know where this is coming from or why I am writing in such a style that isn't me at all[well at least LameMansTerms-ish] so be kind as I was to myself -Ok-Thanks -n-joy
    L A M E M A N S T E R M S


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"The Man I See In Me"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I look at myself from an-unbiased point of view this is what I see;

    ~I see a man who still wants to be a boy
    -and a boy whose trying to avoid
    -growing up and all that other stuff like being employed.
    I see a boy crying in a corner;
    - saying he feels trapped as he gets older
    - but then he begs to stay a little longer.
    I see a man who wants the days to be shorter.
    -And the nights shorter too.
    He never wants to talk about himself,
    He’d rather talk about you.

    I see a father, I see a friend.
    I see a man who wonders where his children are way too often.
    I see a son
    -an appreciative one
    -- but he's bummed cause he let his father down.
    Never really looked back when he left his home town.
    Everything was handed on a silver platter.
    -But to him it didn't matter,
    Not to him, not then;
    What was mapped out just wasn’t where he was goin.

    I see a man who is very aware which side is bread is buttered.
    I see a man who seems to forget he has a brother.
    Who he hasn't spoken to since the day he left.
    And I see he has many regrets.
    I see a man who knows his faults,
    -he knows every one,
    --every one too well.
    And he beats himself up second to none,
    and if you asked him he would never tell.
    I see a man who tries not to pass judgment.
    I also see a man who wonders where the time went.
    I see a man; a good friend.
    I see a man who probably needs to hear that every now and then.

    I see a man
    Whose mad at himself for not doing the best he can.
    I see a man who thinks he's alone.
    I see a man who couldn't be more wrong.
    I see a man who swears by his journal.
    His way of reconciling not living up to his potential.
    This man I see
    Doesn’t take well to responsibilities,
    he never did.
    That’s all I need to see…
    The man I see is simply still a kid.

    L A M E M A N S T E R M S





    Submitted on 2005-04-02 20:49:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey mike. This was the one you said I should read so I checked it out. Its it amazing. Reading it I can relate to it so much I think I will definately write one like this about me. The whole concept of wanting to be a kid is what I want. Back when I was little with no cares or worries. Back then when I didn't analyze the world. It's so sad to read this because I know how true it is. I keep thinking of comparisons with each line I read. I really think I will try to write one like this. No praticular style just slap it down and post it here. -james
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm amazed how you can go from writting about your rubber lover (which I haven't been able to add to my favs grrrhhhh) to something this serious. It's like there are two LMTs and the one who wrote this has been fighting to get out.

    It's like society has this misconception about what people (especially males) are supposed to be like. Living up to the expections, guys not crying in public (however, I personally think that it is really cute when a guy cries), not giving/receiving praise. How often do we realize that a friend is totally awesome becuase of something that they've done, and we never tell them? We take a lot of things for granted, like family and friends, and we don't realize until it's too late.

    Right now I'm 17, but sometimes I wish I could back to being 4 years old, back to whenever you only had to worry about Sarah shareing the red crayon. A lot of people never really grow up, or I guess a better way of saying it would be evolve. How many people move past the part of procrastinating and drinking cause it's fun? Not many from what I can tell. As teenagers, we don't really have that many responsibilities. Mom still cooks for us and does our laundry, dad makes sure that you have money and a vehical to drive. We don't have to worry about paying bills, etc; and some people just live out their lives like that.

    I love seeing the more serious side of you Mike. What I really like about this piece is that even though your figure is a guy, us chicks can still relate cause we all go through the same things. Even if this were translated into Ancient Greek of French, anyone who reads this would be able to relate. A lot of people just focus on the one aspect, like responsibility, and kind of forget that all the stuff that you mentioned is interrelated.

    I wish that I could say that this was my idea, but it wasn't. It is totally awesome. We need to see more of the serious Mike from now on. Please? The serious side probably has a lot more to say.

    ~Jess
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Lame, I like this too, it's an honest account of a man who has assessed who he is. Just sitting down to be introspective to this point, most people don't do. So I respect you for even this much, now considering that you wrote it all out, as a declaration, and posted it. To me it makes you all the more lovable. I can certainly relate to the idea of not wanting to grow up, the impish grin and child in me is always ready to laugh.
    And Mike, I apologize for not getting back until now, but if you just put this one up, I have no regrets.
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      i see you have a lot of compliments for this poem, and that's the way it should be! this was an excellent write. It brought to my attention, not only the depths of your inner person (if this person is of you) but the fact that one person holds many positions in life, here he is a son and a father a young boy still a friend-the many different point of views he has on life. The most powerful thing that stuck out to me about this was the fatherly role, him having to step up and raise his own children but ironically still wanting to be a child himself even considering himself "still a kid"
    This had a lot of emotion wrapped in it. It almos struck me as an early mid-life crisis. taking an outlook on life and all the choices made and the regrets that resulted from some of them and fearing responsibility, taking on child-like characteristics because desiring to be one.
    I simply loved it...another genius write! he's back!
    | Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by Tinasha | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so open and honest. you are looking at yourself without the rose-colored glasses, and that is admirable to do. i can't critique this because it is so personal and vulnerable. thanks for sharing who you see. i know how it feels to just want to be a kid, no responsibilities. nan and i pretend we're just teenagers in love, without the angst of course!
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually like this a little better. It still has that honest and raw feel. Still feels like it was a stream of thoughts that came to you. However, now it is more structured and organized. You didn't really change the content much, unless to make it better, and a little clearer. BTW...I have been a little bit perturbed at you ONE time...but I have never actually been pissed ;)

    Joye
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by pinurplepassion | [ Reply to This ]
      I tried to be the first comment on this yesterday, but after typing my long winded comment, my computer froze and I had to restart it, erasing all my work. I was soooo mad... so now I have to settle for being second.

    Mike- you amaze me of late with your courage in changing your voice. You have showed an honest, vulnerable, man...you have let us in on something even more intimate than your favorite type of blow-up doll- hee.

    This piece makes me want to take you in my arms and mother the hell out of you. The way you have opened up and explored your relationships with those in your life, and in such an honest way, touched me.

    I am a woman, but I can relate to many of the things you have said. Who wants to grow up? I still feel like that young 17 year old, wide eyed, fearless girl and you know what- I hope I always do, but it conflicts with life at our age doesn't it? I find myself in the junior department because I am lucky enough to still fit in junior sizes and second guessing everything I choose- should a 30 year old woman wear this? Am I trying too hard? Will someone think I am trying too hard? Also, I know there are bills to be paid and insurance to keep up to date and appointments to keep and I know the feeling of wanting to just shrivel into the corner and make it all stop. I just want to go back.

    Here is something...are you a father, Mike? That is something I never knew. Am I reading that correctly? Being a mother I know that feeling of having that child continuously on your mind. You sleep with one eye and one ear open and you always wonder if the example you are setting is one that you wish your children to follow or if you are setting them up for a lifetime of therapy.

    THis is a sad piece Mike and it seems to hint to me that you are ready to make some changes, some ammends. You know there are some things that you need to do. This piece says to me that you are growing up and you are becoming a man. I love it when you show this side of yourself almost as much as I love your warped horomone driven pieces about sex and porn and your interaction with the female persuasion.

    Mike- this was beautiful. You are honest, sensitive, and ever- changing and growing and that to me is the sign of a true man.
    Much love- Mags
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, i have to give myself a moment because I can feel the emotion rising in me.......
    this is so great, I feel so connected to it, about 1/4 of the way through it knew i would have to put this on my favorites.
    it just captures the way you start to feel once you hit a certain age and start thinking about what your life has consisted of, what you need to do ,will probabley never do, and everything you've wanted to do by that certain age. who you wanted to be.
    if this is not your usual style i have to say you pulled it off very well.

    here is my only critique

    the line 'wonders where is children are way too often. '
    i'm thinking this is a typo because everything else is so perfectly flawlessly written.
    but just in case it should probably say '...wonders where the children are way too often.'
    also, the two lines where you use and
    'and he beats himself up..'
    'and if you asked him'

    i would think eliminate the 2nd and.
    but that is all that is off in my opion.
    Great Poem !!!
    CC
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]


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