Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Rainbow Colored Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 921
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805



    Description:
       Written in 1993.

    About a Trip I went on after Danny(My Angel) took his own life.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Rainbow Colored Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It all starts off with an old dead friend,
    I'm slitting my wrists by the end.
    Or maybe...I could blow off my head.
    This blood....it drips down into a boiling pit of sorrow,
    Then we go on a trip, but the sorrow still follows.
    Mean, barking dogs like angry, shouting men, ya, i think they're all alike,
    And inside me, what lurks in my dusty, unused den...an empire...a tower, filled with spite.
    He loved me best, now he loves you more,
    He saw my heart and my voice he ignored.
    It's all mysterious, freaky & wild,
    Full of dreams gone unseen, the future and my outer child.
    Around here, nothing is how it may seem,
    Because everythings' twisted in my rainbow colored dream.




    Submitted on 2005-04-03 16:27:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Heya!
    I think no one commented on this because they simply had nothing useful to say, hehe. Not that I do, but, oh well. It's difficult to put a finger on how you were feeling when you wrote this. I understand you were going through a hard time, but it seems you were also daydreaming plenty and silently smiling with the memories. However, the poem is still good. Really rich emotions are poured out. That's probably why it's a bit of a blur.
    Just wondering who you are talking to. For example, when you say

    He loved me best, now he loves you more

    I'm not really sure who you are addressing. Hm, rereading it, I think this piece has a slight bittersweet aura. At least to me... Also, hoping you could define your rainbow colored dream a bit more.

    Anyway, you seemed to have had a poetic surge in 1993 and 1994! Likely everything revolving around that one incident. Do you have any other rich poems from other years? Just wondering!

    drika
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by silverdrika | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    52889

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry