Are cicadas rare in Ireland? They pretty common here in Baltimore (Eastern US) too. At least when the broods come out which gets complicated. I've never seen insects that match the description put forth here - they do have big ass eyes tho - not always green. While blinking and blurring is some good alliteration, y kno those things don't have eyelids and they slow as hell?
Honestly if I look at this from the perspective of not knowing anything about the bug, it makes it alot better, because its a pretty enjnoyable read in and of itself. Mebbe you could finds some way to make th artistry match up with reality a bit better, or drop reality all together. shard
This is not an exotic animal to me, hey are common in New Zealand, America and especially in Australia. First of all I approve so wholeheartedly of the fact that you are writing a simple descriptive poem. his is such a good thing to attempt. I like also your joy in words, the way you have experimented with pattern and sound, even though your experiment is not 100% successful. Cicada -
Blinking and blunting: These words alliterate well, but is the meaning entirely appropriate. Cicadas make a continuous trilling, hissing racket and normally you can't see them, because they are high in the trees. Their small screams are screaming: why not find a new word instead of "screaming"? Small yellow round pot bellies: this doesn't match the image I have. They are fairly sleek. Bright bubbling saliva: once again, they might only bubble if pressed. Their song is produced by rubbing plates on their abdomen, so they don't need spit to sing. The green eyes are hell to her: to whom? Who is this "her" person? It is incidentally the males who sing. Where now unknown to how they've went: this is a very awkward line. You must edit it. Long sliky stalks: Nobody knows this word "sliky" or what these stalks are!
Beware to sorrow Cicadas, shall follow : these two lines seem to be rhyme driven without any clear sense.
So, my final assessment. A great subject matter, but swot up more on its biology and treat this poem as a first draft. Go back to it, change some of it, add more to it. It cries out with potential.