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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Shadows Life
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 127/127/27
    Words: 267
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 1061
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1607

       Walking back home near the sunset he sees children playing on the shore and reflects upon his lost love.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    i hear the laughter of the children, dancing by the shore

    i hear the joys of their mothers, and how their fathers beg for more

    i taste what i could never have, ever since you walked away

    i know the path i chose for me, no friends along my way

    demons walk the roads i walk where angels fear to tread

    and hope lives on in nowhere else, except this heart thats bled

    the fires burn inside of me ragining like the sea

    and turmoil kills my soul inside but i still refuse to see

    i know not pain away from u i know not fear as well

    but every moment away from you is a moment spent in hell

    oh my love now dont you fear for you still possess my all

    and even though no longer here im still waiting for yor call

    children dance no longer here inside my broken heart

    and death's been strangely close to me ever since we've been apart

    now i slowly start to crawl into that rising dark

    i see the soul that fled from me with the dying of love's spark

    crying slowly in my sleep pride comes before the fall

    "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"

    Submitted on 2005-04-04 07:28:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      love it so much! you described in detail everything that you were feeling! that is very inspiring! very gd job! the details help me make a great mental image in my mind! that is so great!!
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Razorgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      On the third or fourth line down, tears began to swell in my eyes. Having lost a very dear friend of mine-my dog- I was actually 'living' your piece as I read through it. 'Children Dance No Longer' might prove to be an interesting title for this piece! I was ABOUT to comment on fixing your spelling, but actually I think it does the writing great justice. It's like the WORDS are broken, too, and like the suffering young man, feel angst. I was able to read the peice quite easily.
    | Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the style cuz it gives u time to think of what u just read....hmmm....spelling could use some work though ur right it is similar with mine
    | Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by winged_writer_robyn | [ Reply to This ]

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