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shattered glass

Author: winged_writer_robyn
ASL Info:    16/f/wa
Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 116 /162 /44
Words: 74
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1200
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 483


i wrote this.....well i really dont know why i wrote this...well i kinda do...i just dont wanna say...yea

shattered glass

A thousand pieces
Of my glass heart
Lay shattered at my feet
A pool of blood
Becomes the tears
My heart was forced to weep
You took my heart
In your hands
Never to let go
But then you took
The fragile glass
And smashed it
On the ground below
So now they lay shattered
The thousands of pieces
Of my heart
Now they lay scattered
A thousand pieces apart…

Submitted on 2005-04-04 11:48:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I too agree the rhyming scheme can be easier to follow. However it might take away from the originality of the piece. You took a subject that has been beat to death by multitudes of poets and poet wannabes and created something fresh and different with the glass metaphor. I liked that alot. very well done
your friend
| Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
  very very well done. the only critique i have is preference...the way you have the lines divided up makes the reading choppy. if that's your intent, then leave it, but if you want it to read a little smoother then combine the lines and establish a formal rhyme scheme.
| Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  Shit.. excuse the laguage but i so know what ur saying, a beautiful portrayl of the hopeless romantic and the trials life casts upoin him always doomed to give the heart away only to have it shattered totally... the rhyme scheme beautifully suited to the mood and the flow of the ideas drive the heart close to tears beautiful poem :)
| Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]

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