This is real kool Jaz. It's dark and very forward. I think it's just great how you put the words together like ...
I hold this broken mirror out for you to see You are nothing just like me
I love that. I could tell this was for Justin just by the way you talk about him. You know...sometimes you make me feel this way? Just wanted you to know. You're still the koolest f*cking chick alive! Stay kool and awesome!
I like it. To me it's like you're saying to someone who has pretty much thought that they have it worse than you "Hey. Everyone has something going on in there life that they don't like. Get over it." A lot of people need to see that too. Great job.
be careful of the mirror.people dont usually like what they see.and it might ultimatley drive them away i know you didnt mean literally,but a feeling and carring person does it usually for their agenda or for an outcome they want and yes it would be best for said person but like medicine,overdose is detremental one persons observance i liked this piece though
Wierd. I like it, though. It's dark, but not overly so. There is something about the way the words flow though that bothers me. I can't really put my finger on it, but it distracts from the poem. Try to work on the meter, make it sound more rhythmic. Work on it, and make it great. It's a good poem. Keep it up.