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    dots Submission Name: Angelsdots

    Author: Shadows Life
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 127/127/27
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 1123
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1334

       In the darkest of hours we prayed for a hero to save us... but arent we doomed to damanation

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    All the angels are so far away

    All the angels are so far away

    and a king rises up, he cries out a call

    but the hero that rises, he also must fall

    all the people turn, they all shrink in fear,

    holding on to this life , which they hold so dear

    all the champions falter, they all look away

    their banners are left unclaimed

    with each passing moment at the end of each day

    courage grows more and more tamed

    remember the glory of those days of the past

    when valor could run so free

    but as time marches on nothing can last

    so it was and so it shall be

    even the greatest ocean one day will dry

    and even the ageless someday must die

    in the dark of the night we kneel down and pray

    for a hero to rise that time cannot slay

    we know he shall rise and fight through ages

    armed with the rose and the wisdom of sages

    but he too must fall to the sands of the hour

    and he too will fade as the rest of us cower

    and the angels will cry to mourn his loss

    a dying savior nailed to his cross

    Submitted on 2005-04-05 05:30:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very good, the religious undertones stick out right from the start, and I like all your hidden references. I think I'd use punctuation, though or maybe break it into stanzas, just to make it a liile easier on the eye. I'd lose the repeated first line, too, all the other rhyming was great, I'm sure you can come up with something apt. A great piece, I can hear it being sung as a hymn. Well done
    Be happy
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really an interesting piece of work. Lots of good stuff here, good meter and rhyme.

    I loved these 2 lines:

    even the greatest ocean one day will dry

    and even the ageless someday must die

    Think the beginning could be a bit stronger, but a nice job here. :-)
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Hrmm ..I lliked this alot ....great images in my head....Im not religious ..So i cant relate to the emotions put into this ..But i did enjoy the ride ..I enjoyed the images and i think you did a fantastic job with the descriptions ...Blessed be
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]

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