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    dots Submission Name: "INANIMATE"dots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1240
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It went so fast
    and I never moved so slow-
    As it passed me by –
    I waved so long
    and watched it go.
    I yelled –
    Goodbye life!
    And it yelled back-
    You aint got much time Mike,
    You’re gonna get left behind…….

    L A M 3 M A N $ T 3 R M $

    Submitted on 2005-04-05 08:27:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well, it's not dirty, but I liked it. It is a little ditty that packs alot of punch. Keep on exploring this new you. You know I love ya- Mags
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey LameMansTerms

    Nice poem ;0) I have read your poem a couple of times and liked reading it. It is very minimal in its expression, which I prefer, and I liked the style and flow in it. It is not very funny to watch your life goes by, and you are not able to do anything about it. Just waving/yelling goodbye ;0) Nice work ;0) I will drop by and read some more of your poems ;0)

    Keep writing ;0)

    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      nice mike, growing everyday. i like this side of you. i like that you are starting to take yourself seriously, not in a personal respect, but as a writer. i am hooked on your work again man. truly cant wait to read what's next.

    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by pinurplepassion | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm a work on break and had to comment before I my time is up. This was a nice poem that really says alot. It was simple yet full of understanding. It got the message across without being depressing. It is light and easy to read, yet real. Stay up. One.
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Rukiya Faizah | [ Reply to This ]
      whooooooaaaah soldier! That was some poem!I had to read it three times before i could calm myself down to write a response. that is deep! Life does go by fast...what a way to express it. i love how you created a detached point of view of life...that was very effective. waving so long and watching it go by and you said good bye to it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying goodbye to a life that you could have lived and not actually life itself because if that was the case you would be dead and you clearly said that you are told you don't have much time left so i assume you are still alive, but your life as in accomplishments and how things could have been. this is the only thing i'm confused about it but I rather like being confused about it because it leaves it open for opinion and the various ways others might view this. i simply loved it. a fav of course!
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Tinasha | [ Reply to This ]
      nice little poem about the way time passes by so quickly leaving us at our deathbed wondering what happened perhaps charming in its oversimplicity where there are no extensive metaphors just bare occurences and that would draw the reader
    I waved so long
    and watched it go.
    I yelled &#8211;
    Goodbye life!

    i especially like those verse cause u can see them happening
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]
      this is funny i can imagine you waving goodbye to life with a suitcase in your hand, on your way to a tunnel and then life waiving back it just seemed really funny. (you just made my day) but i kind of lost the flow in the first 2 lines you might want to work on that but other than that i loved your poem.
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]

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