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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Time and Rosesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wildchild
    ASL Info:    19/f/northwest
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 307/268/27
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1329
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 635



    Description:
       okay, yes i know this sucks but you know what? i don't care; bash it, praise it, do anything but rape it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTime and Rosesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every rose has its thorn
    but is it really worth it?
    to battle past the defences to
    reach the tenderness within?

    Time heals all wounds but
    forever is a long time.

    Somehow that same force which
    brought together lovers will
    tear them apart, forcing the rose
    to wilt.

    The horror and misery
    at the sight of a withered rose
    can be almost too much to bear
    alone.

    A frozen winter- an icebox of protection,
    where even the tiniest bud's
    sap is turned to ice, preventing
    any type of bloom.




    Submitted on 2005-04-05 17:17:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful:

    "A frozen winter- an icebox of protection,"

    My favorite line in this poem. I love roses, and the title just captured my attention. Your such a talented girl! So many words make your poems beautiful!

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVED THIS! IT CAPTURES EMOTION VERY WELL. IT HAS GREAT FLOW, AND WELL... I LOVED IT LOTS!
    <3 LIZ RENEE <3
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Liz_Renee | [ Reply to This ]
      I can only say one thing beautiful, its so real I mean (unless Im wrong) to me your using a rose to show a relation ship as it grows and or dies away. The thorns show that love can hurt and each petal as another step to happiness but only it ends as the rose dies and wilts away so will the memories of the love that has been lost but then there comes a time where you feel lost and unable to love again. (please message me if Im wrong and tell me how it realy is cause I like this poem alot I MEAN ALOT, mainly cause I like roses and the way you used them to express the poem) Thanks for writing something good and worth reading.

    -Ryan PEACE OUT
    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by the heartless | [ Reply to This ]
      The truth in this poem is so obvious. The piece is beautifuly written. Eventually every heart freezes against the world. We all die some day and when we get close to that point we block out all else wether it's from fear, contentment, or bliss.
    Well written,
    -Sageeriol
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice piece. I liked the use of words and the use of the rose as a metaphor. It didn't have a flow but I'm pretty sure this what was intended.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a great write. very good ending put it all into place. this peice has a lot of bizzar wording that i havent seem in a while placing the rose in a time elaspe poem. ill comment more later
    Ace
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful and depressing at the same time. It's a nice effect. There are a lot of beautiful ideas and emotions that you've started to put into this piece, but as I read it, I felt like a lot of the ideas are more disconnected than they have to be. Ideally, the rose definitely ties everything together, but I feel like you need to bring more of the idea of time into this piece as well.

    Time heals all wounds but
    forever is a long time.

    I just want to comment on how true that that stanza is, which is why I found it to be so effective within this piece.

    Somehow that same force which
    brought together lovers will
    tear them apart, forcing the rose
    to wilt.

    Like everyone else, this seems to be my favorite verse. There's a lot of raw power that you've put into that verse that doesn't seem to be expressed in the other verses. To a lesser degree, the verse before it has a similar degree of emotion, but they're just not as connected together as they could be.

    I sense so much potential in this piece, if only for the emotion alone. Beautifully written, and I have to say that I greatly ejoyed this. Thank you for sharing this piece of your soul.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by zyllion | [ Reply to This ]
      "forcing the rose
    to wilt."
    That line, the spacing and
    placement, was stunning, captivating, spellbinding.
    The poem doesn't seem to flow in the same degree as some I've read, syllables off and such but overall it enhances the amazment.(sp?)
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Tekin_Kashami | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey wildwhild, great job on this. It seems a bit sad though, Aki doesn't want Jess to be sad! Anyways... back to the poem. Aki likes it, she thinks it flows really god and loves the images that it brought to mind.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      "A frozen winter- an icebox of protection,
    where even the tiniest bud's
    sap is turned to ice, preventing
    any type of bloom."

    This stanza had the most effect on me...wait, eh, my grammar sucks tonight, oh well, you know what I am talking about. The fact that something so precious can be lost in an instant...yet we tried so hard to keep it close forever. Like trying to keep a child from growing up...it always happens...Thinking you will be a kid forever and one day, wow, you have grown up within seconds. The day I found out my mom had cancer, then I get the call that Grandpa does too. Its like an ice cube running down your bare back, someone taking you out of your bed into the dark winter night...You just know things will never be the same...

    Sorry, I didn't mean to go into a tangent, or make it about me, uhg, I hate that...sorry...I say sorry too much.

    You have talent, which is more then I can say for a lot of people I know. Your poems evoke thought with the first stanza, your stories with the first sentece they draw their audience. I love reading your writing, but I love even more discussing them with you afterwards. Well done, my Jess. I look forward to MANY many more articles of your soul, or just your writing, I can settle for that

    Bonnie
    | Posted on 2005-04-07 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I have to tell you something, this doesn't suck, but you still might want to work on it a little.

    Somehow that same force which
    brought together lovers will
    tear them apart, forcing the rose
    to wilt.

    This is my favorite stanza in this, it really has the most impact, well at least to me.

    Good job, keep it up.

    Oh and is this one of the things you've been working on in your "book" for the last month?

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]


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