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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: onlydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: E. M. Dougherty
    ASL Info:    18/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 27/39/10
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 251
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611



    Description:
       this was just a spur of the moment thing when i was just going through some things in my head. we've been doing shakepeare in class so don't hate on the rhyme scheme because i have the whole A-B-A-C-A-D thing stuck right now. i think the feelings behind my poem would be facing reality and depression. i believe there's a sadness behind it that is more than words can describe, but i hope i did my best and i hope you enjoy this!

    dedication: i dedicate this to my dear friend, shannon, who is the sweetest person ever. I love you, shan!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsonlydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The only life worth living,
    is one we'll never find.
    The only thoughts worth having,
    are the ones we leave behind.
    The only words worth saying,
    never leave our mind.
    The only hand worth holding,
    was your hand in mine.

    The only story worth writing,
    is one we'll never tell.
    The only skill worth having,
    is one in which we'll never excel.
    The only place worth going,
    is one in which we'll never dwell.
    The only memories worth having,
    are the ones we bid a morbid farewell.




    Submitted on 2005-04-05 20:24:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You absolutly, beautifully described human beings. The things we should do we never do, becuase of pressure or your own thoughts or others thoughts. This poem had an, inbetween impact, it was sad but happy at teh same time... kind of wierd but, YOUR ryhmes were so awesome.... they werent forced at all and it all flowed, you are very good at that.

    My favorite line is,
    "The only hand worth holding,
    was your hand in mine."

    cause i'm so Emo like that... although ur not emo... I am... anyway, Some of these things seemed clichéd to me but you put them in such an order i didn't even care if i heard it before.

    Nothing but good stuff for ya!

    keep it up pllllease!
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm... I dont think that there is a problem with the rhyming or flow at all... Infact it is some of the best I have seen on ES... As for the poems content... I couldnt agree more... I love the fact that after every single statement, you counteract it and basically put to rest the thoughts of bringing them back... My overall thought on this poem is that it simply points out many of the flaws and imperfections in human beings... even though you say that this poem is basically dedicated in happiness to this person, I will have to say that I think it is rather downcast and depressing... Maybe thats just me and I read this from the totally wrong perspective, but I dont know... Anyways... Overall a very good writing... Keep it up.
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. ok first off, i have to say that (although i hate telling my name online) my name is Shannon, so you just totally reminded me of this really awesome friend i have who's the kind of guy who'd write something like this. That being said, i can hardly bring myself to make negative comments because i relate so personally. (not that negative comments are at all necessary). however, as i read i noticed that the line "..is one in which we'll never excel" we slightly too long; it felt awkward. also, there's no apostrophe in 'ones'. other than those little details, though, i really felt the pain in this poem. in kind of a good way, it made me immensely sad. this is totally going on my favourites list. keep it up. -Jinx
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by jinx | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. Because my mood as of the past few days has been quite dark and somewhat somber, this piece hits very hard. I do understand exactly what you mean in regards to the heavier emotion behind it. It's hard to find good poems on this subject. And usually a rhyme scheme would be a death sentence to a poem on this topic, but you kept it truly Shakespearean and kept the rhyme simple but not too cliché. Bravo my dear. Much love to ya.
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]



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