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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sun Confessionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 519



    Description:
       its piddling down outside...wish I was on a beach somewhere.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSun Confessionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Who seeks with the giant searchlight?
    Its beam spots me
    on a vitamin enriching day,
    as I laze
    in its haze.
    A golden-warm glow
    leaves me in an autumn feeling,
    of crispy reds and browns.
    A blazing eye,
    stares and smoulders,
    and strips me of nakedness.
    My bikini is laid bare
    to a milky whiteness,
    etched in bronze.
    I am hot and in heat,
    in a sweat; for my sins.
    I could burn
    for lying here right now.




    Submitted on 2005-04-06 03:46:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the idea of the sun being a giant searchlight.

    A blazing eye,
    stares and smoulders,
    and strips me of nakedness.
    My bikini is laid bare
    to a milky whiteness,
    etched in bronze.

    I like the idea that the sun is staring at you too. I like how you talk about yout tan lines too.

    I am hot and in heat,
    in a sweat; for my sins.
    I could burn
    for lying here right now.

    That reminds me of how Puritans used to feel about bathing. They thought that since it felt good, it had to be a sin. It's like the sun is God's eye. This is interesting.
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm i like it ... i dont fully get it ... but i like it ... maybe the mysticism is what i like about it all i know is that it works the flow and the rhyme are great the meaning tho unclear to me is tauntingly out there somewhere

    for my sins.
    I could burn
    for lying here right now.

    i love this part in particular the punishment for ur sins in the heat of the sun :D over all a nice piece of work :)
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]


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