Their eyes try to follow
the leaden victim, thee
Your desire to be Diana
crushed under other's responsibility
you've weaved such a
gorgeous tapestry, oh my
Arachne, that it snares you
Jannus, one can not tell
Which face that speaks through
long believed fabrication
of inquisitions long laid rest
Dirt before swines, ants
in your ointments
Easy for thee to condemn
from your illusory heights
built from the broken spines
of those who cared
ignis fatuus et dominatio rectus
Oh my god, ive heard that word sumewer b4, ignis fatuus, its latin isnt it? Aw wat does that mean, if u get the time please let me know because It will wreck my head. Anyway, back to the poem. "you've weaved such a gorgeous tapestry" that is so moving and creates pleasant undertones in your poem. It also creates highly visual imagery. Im impressed.
"Jannus" this name of this person jannus corresponds slightly to ur title ignis fatuus. This is so spontaneous and mysterious yet the poem somewhat lets off a greek roman empire sense. Like it seems as though its been written in context, like say 500 B.C i dont know, but it just gives me that vibe the way you have written it.
ignis fatuus et dominatio rectus
Great way to finish off your poem, very realistic and authentic. Great write. Excellent
oh, now, now, bitter one. what heights could i hope to attain here in the gutter? (not the seminole ones...but closer to the suffering springs.) i will always be jannus, yes, but diana i am not. anyway i prefer Ereshkegal...that naked grumpy goddess...the one who killed the love goddess. :) good work. keep it up. catharsis is good for you.
I have to agree with ExDeath's comments. I sometimes harp at poets and say "write in the language of today" but that is just about learning form before you break the rules. It's like Picasso mastered the traditional forms before moving on into abstract art. This poem takes some anachronisms and breathes new life into old mythology, or even what some might construe as a language (latin) on its deathbed. I've seen a couple of stand up comics who have used latin to similar effect, imbuing it with rage or some other unseemly emotion. It breaks the rules of the past, of a Christian ideal that "Latin is the Sacred Tongue" and that makes it revlevent and vital and fresh. Telling someone they like to talk out of their a s s (or are completely full of s h i t) in Latin is just great! Again, because you're using the "root language" as "truth" and turning it on like a flashlight to expose the steaming piles your ex liked to prop up on pedestals in the dark. An exasperated anger shines through in this piece. I've been in this situation and you've encapsulated it perfectly. The use of "thee" and references to Greek mythology sharpens the contrast between her mythologizing and the elusive truth. Well done on both counts (poem, and kicking her to the curb).
I'm not going to say too much here... But what you have written is nothing short of beautiful... the emotion, anger, but also apparent forgiveness... And I have to say that the Latin in it really really REALLY adds alot... you dont need to understand or know latin to get the feelings that are going with it... All I can say in whole is that... Wow... this piece really blows me away... Keep up the excellent work. .Caleb.