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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WHEN?----I'm waitingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Death
    Total Views: 868
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696



    Description:
       HOW IS IT???
    DEEP? i wonder if anyone understand the meaning of this poem can u relate do you feel like ur in the dark and u cant find the switch to ur mind???


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWHEN?----I'm waitingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Alone in the darkness
    afraid of evil
    i await in silence
    to scared to see him
    the cryptkeeper, under taker
    wannabea
    knocks at my door
    asks me once more
    " are you ready to die
    to say goodbye
    to all the hurt, the pain
    that u feel inside?"
    so i look towards the sky once more
    ask MY GOD WHY
    " why this gotta be my life,
    why do i gotta endure
    this pain, this strife
    when oh when
    is it going to be MY time to go?
    is there a sign you can show me
    to let me know-
    when its going to be my destiny
    when its goin to be the less of ME




    Submitted on 2005-04-06 08:35:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like this poem a great deal. it is very deep. i truelly felt alone in the dark. i keep picturing the lady in the cloak with the lantern from led zeppelin...lol. it totally rocks. great imagery...peace
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by PiecesOfMyHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I didn't get it (probably because I read the first four lines and then someone called me) but then I read the whole thing and it made sense. It was well written and I automatically translated the slang in my head without even realising it. It was only when I read melcavea's comment about the chat-speak that I went back to look for what she was talking about that I realised. All in all a well written poem.
    I sort of relate, I have this fogginess in my head that I can't push through and it is really annoying me, I'm failing tests because of it. Sometimes it tingles and when someone isn't really happy I just go really quiet and wait for them to blame it on me. It is like everyone blames everything on me so I expect it now. I haven't really looked for the light, the thought scares me.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this poem has great potential and I like the idea of it. Try to avoid putting capital words in your poems - oh, and chat-speak, such as substituting 'you' with 'u, etc. This will make the poem look much more proficient and appealing.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by melcavea | [ Reply to This ]


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