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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WE did it AGAIN!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       Wonder in my mind
    why has our world come about like this
    where has it begun??
    with a begining there's suppost to be and end
    where oh where is OURS??


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWE did it AGAIN!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears fall from heavan
    with drops of rain
    as HE looks down at us
    and the world of his WE'VE ruined AGAIN
    anger in his eyes
    YOU can see
    as the thunderbolts
    cross the sky
    as HE trys to REgain
    HIS paradise
    Sparks of light
    come upon us hardly
    anymore
    as HE trys to shine hope
    on this world
    But hope is on low
    as the leaves
    like dreams
    begin to fall
    and once again
    WE are back
    at the begining
    of it ALL





    Submitted on 2005-04-06 08:44:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      great emotion in this peice. i love it. i agree with alot in it and am very angry at the world in general but cant seem to put it into words. you did a great job of just that. at first i thought the capitalized words through off the whole flow but by the end i really thought they were cool. very original. i wouldnt change a thing...peace
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by PiecesOfMyHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very emotional peice. i really liked it. i do look at the world and think what the F*** are we thinking. people killing one another. mainly for money and drugs or insanity. and what does God think? holy crap i don't want to know, the insight might scare me. good luck with more peices.

    ~Cat~
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by dancer06 | [ Reply to This ]
      to pestiferous: the reason for the caps is to display more emotion. its like a letter to the world, by capitalizing YOU im speaking to each and every person that reads this. it kind of makes it more personal
    thanx though i understand ur point of view
    darkwarrior
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved the way you said what you wanted in few words and short lines. I think too many words kills the point sometimes. Nice, simple and easy to read. It was very descriptive though. I love God poetry. It was beautiful, good job
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by rubberducky | [ Reply to This ]
      well He knows we're sinners and is probably getting used to our selfish ways...all we can do is repent and and ask for His forgiveness...
    that's all we can do...you have a couple of typos
    and i didn't really like the way you used caps throughout your write in the middle of your sentences except for using Him...He or His...
    that's just me though...

    pestiferous
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]


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