My First Time by C. Flava

Every guy talks about there first time like it' was the best thing that ever happened to them.But not me I thought it was gonna be someone that I really trust or loved but I guess I was wrong. Cause my first time wasn't the best thing that happend to me it was one of the worst, the pain and confusion last for years and years. The girl who name i'm not going to say was one of the finest girlz i've ever seen at my age and I thought that just being near her would make me feel great and when she did talk to me it was like a dream. We were like somewhat good friends until the day she lead me from class and had me follow her to the empty gym. I thought she was gonna ask me to be her boyfriend but I was wrong. She told me to drop my pants and I was like WHAT! she do it or i'll beat your ass you little punk bitch. I did what she said cause at the time I was kinda of a pussy when it came to girls I was kinda afraid of them cause I was taught not to hit a girl or talk vulgar to them. Then she told me "Put this on now" so I did without hesitation and ask her why are you acting like this why are treating me like this? She replied by hitting me over and over and over till my nose started bleeding and was whimpering like a little girl. She then told me to lay down and when I didn't she punched me again and pushed my down and jumped on top of me and told me "I'm gonna get what I want one way or another" I told her to get off of me over and over again and pleaded please don't do this to me, but she just told me to shut up and continued ridding me until I was done. She quickly got up put her pants on and left me there alone with the pain , anger , and confusion. I then later went home and thought to myself why me? I hate myself how could I let that happen to me? If only I was a bit stronger I could've pushed her off and made my escape. But I knew there was nothing I could who would I tell? Would anyone believe me? I just had some much anger and hate in me I didn't know what to do I felt like I wanted to die. I felt dirty and violated at the same time I remember telling myself that I would never trust anyone ever again and I hate all women with a strong and burning passion, I also remember making a vow to myself that I will make all women pay for what happend to me I will make them suffer emotional and mentally like I did make them feel the eternal pain that I feel every day of my horrible life.So to all those females out there who don't think males know what it's like to be raped or molested well guess what i'm one of you and I know how you feel. My First time SUCKED!