this is excellent you will never see it the way I do. far-away me, barely touching the near you. did you not witness the butterfly waltz, whose dance linger amongst dried leaves veined with creased memories this stanza was really goood ur an outstanding poet god ur so good well if u have time check out stuff from an amateur ciao
this sounds so much like something i would write. how many times are we overcome with longing, just to be near someone. this is beautifully and effectively written. your words tell a hazy story that all can relate to w/o being overcome by details. daddy like.
And here, I find another well written piece. The only thing I might suggest, and this is just personal taste, if you could somehow even the lines out a little, then the form would look a little evener. I especially liked the second stanza. Very good job. Carol
Nice job ....I adore the title ...It screamed at me to come and read this ..and im glad that i did ... "amongst dried leaves veined with creased memories" ...this held alot of the meaning behind the poem ....This was abstract ....but not so much that it was frustrating ...Well done ...I enjoyed this