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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: INVOKING OUR COMMON SENSESdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edthepoet
    ASL Info:    47-m-Pa
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 1476/991/125
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1422
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1000



    Description:
       If you are wondering why I chose a positive spin on touch,versus the other senses, here's why.

    See, most people don't realize that touch is by far the most important of all the senses. If you think about it, all the other senses are truly trying to let our mind and soul touch it,for example when we see something so beautiful, our eyes are trying to draw it closer and closer. One last point of proof, many have lived without the other senses,but no one has ever lived without being touched.

    By now a lot of you already know I am a little touched in the head already,lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsINVOKING OUR COMMON SENSESdots
    -------------------------------------------


    INVOKING OUR COMMON SENSES

    The closing of your eyes shall not blind you from the
    welts, the bruises and the mental anguish
    battered women suffer daily

    The muting of your remote cannot blockade the horrific
    sounds of children gnashing their teeth, one last time,
    in search of food within their mouths, before they die

    The taste of shame will metastasize through your body
    like cancer, as you lay idly comfortable, watching
    the TV news broadcasting inhumane acts of injustice

    The smell of money will dissipate as your grandchildren
    choke on the air you profited from

    The loving touch you bestow upon people will
    secure a sanctuary of hope to all those in despair

    When we use our common senses, we can ablate the
    needless human suffering; after all no one has ever
    lived with all their senses deadened

    Edward K. Deputy




    Submitted on 2005-04-06 12:42:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This write speaks to our human side... the side that is suppose to do more than just say "I care" but to actually get up and do something about it. A good, thought provoking piece here...describing the many ways we choose to "ignore" what is going on around us.
    Take Care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      *sniff sniff*

    SMELLS like a great piece to me! I could FEEL everything you were saying. And the SIGHT of you posting it was excellent! Now what about the TASTE???? Hmmmmm...got any strawberries?

    LOL

    Great write of course. Never ceasing to amaze me.

    Alicia
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great way of pointing out things wrong in the world. It is tragic that so many people turn away from the suffering of others, that so many people forget that there are truly others worse off then they are. all in all, this was a good write.

    Liz
    | Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]
      hi ed,
    i hope you are well.
    sorry i have not been around much as of late, i have been rather busy in my real life and have not been able to get here too much.
    which is fine,
    and i am sure i dont need to make apologies.
    many thanks for your pm regarding a critique i made, i am flattered with the words you gave and have a lot to live up to! the pressure is on, especially as i am not really writing and commenting all that much at the moment,
    i better get my ass into gear!

    you know ed, we can write poetry in many different ways.
    there are so many people, here and esp on other sites and in other 'learned' communities, that have set, stringent and specific 'rules' for poetry, and to me, that is all bullsh-it.
    there are no rules, and something, for me at least, can be called poetry if firstly i think it is good, and secondly i can relate to it somehow.
    music is poetry.
    art is poetry.
    graffiti is poetry, so long as it is done well, has a meaning,

    so bringing me to this.
    this is similar to some of your writes, and different to others in that is an attempt to pass on knowledge and wisdom of sorts.
    not everyone will like poetry of this kind, because they will either find it too direct or not verbose and 'creative' enough.

    but that is the way it is, and we can not please everyone, so we should just write what we want to say and let that be good enough.

    there are some points you bring up here that i find very interesting.
    your thoughts on touch and how it affects us and how we can not do without it are something i have thought of but not in the way you describe, more in a mental numbness. but this applies the same to the physical aspect and is something i am glad you brought to my attention.
    indeed i agree totally that to be numb to everything would indeed be the worst case scenario, because even without sight we still have our imagination.

    and you bring up many points about the human race and all the suffering.
    and unfortunately no matter how many times you write something like this or people make a stand to change things there will always be the things you mention, and there is nothing we can do about it, and it seems that it is only going to get worse.
    but that is an altogether different poem, is it not.

    and i think form here you could write many more poems, the one that struck me the most was trying to convey how it would feel to be numb and senseless.

    i am sorry to hear about your grandma ed.
    but i guess there is first of all no need for consolation and indeed no words that i could say would do it justice anyway.
    but she seems to have brought out the best in you so that has to be a good thing,
    take care
    on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      this was powerful, esp. the first two stanzas. great vocab...even had to go to dictionary.com for one word :D haha. my only question was

    [[The taste of shame will metastasize through your body
    like cancer, as you lay idly comfortable, watching]]

    you say the taste of shame is spreading through this person, but that he lays their idly comfortable. when i first read it, it seemed to contradict itself, but im wondering did you mean to show that he was comfortable before and then the shame began to creep through him by watching this broadcast? haha just clarifying ;)
    fantastic write
    sophie
    | Posted on 2005-04-08 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      This comes down to the basic concept of 'you can run but you can't hide'... people should accept the moral responsibility of being 'aware' just once... and the world will be a changed placed. You brilliantly portray the nonchalance displayed by the average person and the devastating effect it has. Very well written with vivid and precise words. Got to love your amazing talent!
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      Yikes... thats the first thing that comes to mind when I read this Ed... Your "way out there" brutal portrayal of the simple willingness for people to just sit by and spectate at the problems of the world... the metaphors of the T.V. being muted and such really sold me too... Excellently crafted and Brutally honest... This piece definately strikes me deep... Way to step outside the box once more and have the courage to post about issues that not many people are willing to discuss because they are "too touchy..." Exquisite Writing...
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well done, and an excellent sentiment indeed. Too much blind eye turning is going on, too many deaf ears, too many silent mouths, and not enough reaching out and touching. Great Poem, Ed, Five Stars*****
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ed- my friend- what can I add that has already not been said.. BRAVO! You again so perfectally put on display your wonderful prowess as a writer. The message is so clear, the subject matter so delicate and handled so well. FANTASTIC JOB
    your friend
    Ben
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      Extremely powerful Ed, this writing leaves nothing to the imagination. I agree in your thinking, the touch is definately the most important of all the senses. You've laid it out masterfully here. Change nothing in this writing, it stands on its own merit.
    Bravo to you on an excellant job.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very profound and such a strong view of the moral issues that people face regularly. the making of a truely empathetic and sympathetic individuals start with steping out of their own comfort zones.
    as you mentioned its the idleness of those watching atrocities and the decision to do something or nothing about them...

    my mind is a bit numb today and the subject matter very serious, so its difficult to make a coherent critique. did i like it, yes??? do i make any sense??? probably no! LOL

    nice piece to provoke thought ed!
    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am honored to be one of the first to comment on this piece. All of your work includes so much truth and this is another example of that. Your explanation sure as hell makes sense and that's why many people love your work. They actually love the way you think. Another great entertaining eye-opener.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Now Ed I am truly impressed with this after the shocking brillient execution of the battered wife a resolve and I love positive endings Ed...and this touched my spirit deep..."Needless human suffering; after all no one has ever lived with all their senses deadened" this is a favorite. `always poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]


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