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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Compositiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freak_like_me
    ASL Info:    20/female/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 120/118/49
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1018
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1436



    Description:
       Hmm. I like this one. its simplistic and straightforward. one of my favs actually.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCompositiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some people say
    When you throw enough mud at the wall
    It will stick
    But we must take our time
    And hurl the mud bit by bit

    Some people say that life
    Is a wonderful thing
    That can be downing at times
    But mostly uplifting
    If you know the right paths
    and You know the right secrets
    It can be a pleasing journey
    Of rising to Heaven

    Some people say that money isnt everything
    I believe them
    Possessions and needs are only materials
    We cannot take them with us
    On our way to the gate before christ
    In life they are something
    But souly, they are nothing

    Some people say
    That love will float your boat (lol)
    If you know where to find it
    And indeed its like the opium drug
    And injecting itself into your veins
    Once in the vessels
    Your addicted for life

    Some people say that music
    Is phonetic
    Its pleasing
    Its what makes the world go round
    and we'd be tasteless without it

    Some people say
    If you take one note
    And add another few
    Musically you have composed
    Life in you

    Some people say
    That the world is one big song
    And the people build this song
    In the compositions of their lives







    Submitted on 2005-04-06 16:49:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      interesting how you tied such random things together, thats the beauty in your poem, you seem to use opposites to describe the same thing...Ill have to admit your opening lines didnt really grab my attention, but by the end of the second stanza, I just wanted to keep reading and reading, I wish it hadnt ended. Really thoughtful, interesting poetry, I really liked it.

    TONY
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]
      Wat up child I'm feeling the flow you put into this poem it's not too much rhyming or too ranting it's a perfect combination of both I really liked the one about how possenions are nothing cause you can't take them with you when the gates come calling and that money isn't everything cause I see people who have lots of money let the greed get to them ahd then they want nothing but more and more of it until it leads to there demise. So all in all I give this poem a...A in my book so keep on writting. 1 love
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by C. Flava | [ Reply to This ]
      i want to put the first stanza on a shirt and wear it, in the manner that some people wear national pride t-shirts to promote notice of an ideal. if there was nothing else to this, the philosophy of mud against a wall is enough for me to chew on for days at a time, like how if you hold your eye to the mirror long enough, you see reflections of your eye grow smaller and smaller into a place beyond the reaches of our human sight.

    i want to understand why you've labeled this passion ... this reads like cherry tree wisdom, life lessons strung together with guitar lilts and spring breezes stirring early summer heats. passion for the life we breathe in and out daily? passion for the deepest resevoirs of knowledge? i would simply call this a deep thought.

    there are parts of this where it loses the wisdom and the momentum you've built, such as the part about the money. i find that stanza unnecessary. or rather, out of place with your theme of composition. stick to music and mud on the wall. but my opinion is only my own, so don't do anything drastic unless you want to. =]

    you've got a good start here, and if you've the inclination, i'd like to see this revised into a tighter piece, where there isn't quite so much sagging over the sides of this lovely little bucket of intelligence. thanks for sharing this piece.

    ~Blue
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked being the first reader and commentor on this.

    There is nothing so refreshing as a simple, plain truth.

    The stanzas were quite different in character, but I think you managed to keeep a theme throughout the whole poem.

    There are few really important points made throughout the entire poem, which reinforces the feeling of empathy with the reader. We have probably experienced the feeeling s within this poem, but are drawn to it by it's simplicity of speech.

    It's a straight talking poem well written!
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Sanny | [ Reply to This ]


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