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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Candledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadows Life
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 127/127/27
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 618



    Description:
       a dark twist on nominal immortality


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Candledots
    -------------------------------------------


    watch the candle burn
    dying to give light
    watch the candle burn
    dwindle through the night
    watch the hours go
    as it slowly ebbs away
    watch its fleeting glow
    waning before day
    does its memory fade
    with the dawning of the sun
    despite the price it paid
    and all that it has done
    is this the heroes mark
    the trace he leaves behind
    fighting through the dark
    as we lay there blind
    with the heroes death
    despite his claims to fame
    with his final breath
    so dies away his name




    Submitted on 2005-04-06 18:07:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm... makes sense... kind of inspiring in a way to open peoples eyes... i can relate... it is kind of eerie the way you put a few things... that is cool tohugh... i liked it... my poems suck... compared to this one they are nothing... i enjoyed it...
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is well written, my friend, a very sad, almost haunting dirge, that had me conjuring up several meanings, all of which fit. Your description summed it up: "Nominal Immortality"
    Very, very good, and thought-provoking
    Be proud of it and
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really loved the candle metaphor a lot,because one could take to represent many things in life,bravo

    It was well crafted and the flow was awesome.

    At first I wasn't sure if I was going to like it or not,but after reading it, I was very glad I did.

    keep writing and I will keep reading
    Edward
    | Posted on 2005-04-07 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this piece. It's nostaglic almost. I thought of the candle being symbolic to soldiers in the Iraq war right now. How heoric they are and like that, their light could be out. :( This brings hope to me and sadness all in one. Good job. I would love to see it re-wrote after you've been on here a month or so and try to include the things you'll learn from the site. It is good as is though. :)
    -blt
    Welcome to Elite again!
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok so i got soldiers ...Lest we forget .....Im not sure if thats exactly what you mean ...It could actually be put to a few things...but for me the men who fall in wars fit the best ....Another fantastic write ....You definatly have a talent that i will be keeping my eye on ...Blessed be
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]


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