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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Journaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Flava
    ASL Info:    19/M/ILLINOIS
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 87/117/28
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       I don't know what to say to the person that did this to me so I gues i'll just write it instead


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJournaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why should I love you
    You never loved me
    Everything I did for you
    And it took this long to relize it

    You cheated so many times
    And you want me take you back
    You must think i'm crazy
    If you me to forget all that

    I loved you once
    And I won't ever again
    Cause neglecting my feelings
    Which was wrong and heartbreaking




    Submitted on 2005-04-06 19:10:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well I never knew you loved someone besides me cuz I never read what you commented on the top of this poem. I feel kinda sad but I think I know who you're talking about. I wish you would have shared this with me but on another topic This poem is alright but it doesn't flow very well You shoulda worked on it more before submitting it Peace Mysterious
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Mysterious Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      the feeling that this poem generates is one of sorrow...and is indeed about how dastardly some people can be when it comes to love. Im sure there is quite a long and sad story behind this...but yet the poem is vague to people who do not know the story behind it. Im not saying that the story needs to be told, but you could add a few stanzas to say a BIT more.
    I didnt like this poem a whole lot because many people have touched upon this subject before. change relized to realized.
    Keep up the writing,
    J.C. Prescott
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]
      well, um, I think first of all, check your spelling...second of all, its kind of short, dont you think? The description doesnt give too much away, almost as much as the poem did. Its obvious you have feeling about whatever it is you are talking about, but, you've got to give a little bit more! Also, the last couple lines

    "cause neglecting my feelings
    which was wrong and heartbreaking"

    read that, and tell me if it makes sense...hmm, Im not trying to say anything negative, to get you down, Im just trying to say a little bit more could go a long way with this piece. Good Luck!

    Tony
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]


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