Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rosemary is for Remembrancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dandan
    ASL Info:    19/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 604/323/49
    Words: 418
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 2306
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2655



    Description:
       I wrote this poem on a unique thought: there are so many people famed for their talents or achievements, and they will - no doubt - be remembered by many [in books, online, in memory, pictures, etc]. But, what happens to those who don't achieve such fame? I'm sure they are remembered for some time, or even a long period by those most affected by their life, but what happens after their memory dies out? They remain simply as a gravestone in a cemetery, where no one recalls their life, and no one appears to care [for ignorance of the past]...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRosemary is for Remembrancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I didn't know you
    And yet, I picked you
    Out of a sea of graves.
    I know nothing of your life,
    And still,
    You are someone special.
    You lie, so melancholy,
    In the depths of the dead earth -
    Barren with woes.
    Your lips remain sealed
    And they speak no knowledge
    Of your past.
    Why do you mock me so?
    Do my tears for you mean nothing?
    You torment me.
    Your bones rot with deceit
    - you endured -
    But now you sleep -
    And raindrops
    Pound a new
    Mourning into your remnants.
    I picked you
    Out of a world of possibilities,
    Out of a night of a million stars.
    I chose you
    Because you were
    Small, forlorn, forgotten.
    You, because you were once
    So much like me.

    I scattered Rosemary
    Over your faded name;
    It was for remembrance.
    And though it bore the message
    Forget-me-not...
    I know you will as you creep into eternal repose.
    I have not seen you -
    But my eyes mirror
    Your disconsolate stare.
    I have not heard your voice;
    Nevertheless, your lamentations
    Resound within my being.
    How do you reach so far
    Into my soul with your
    Lifeless fingers?
    How do you extract that which
    Even I do not know?
    You possess an interminable
    Wealth of cognizance,
    But refuse to share it with me!
    Cruel, inhuman fiend:
    You entice me so, and
    I long to know the secrets;
    Not of your lurid sepulcher,
    But of the life I long to live!
    How may I obtain all
    I wish to know?
    Do the answers come only
    In death?
    I cannot join you yet,
    For there is much to be known
    Of the web in which
    I am currently ensnared.
    There is so much I
    Want to ascertain,
    But I must wait until
    I can merge with your
    Sullen fate.

    Oh, tempestuous Angel,
    Bringer of death,
    Be mindful of my plea.
    Spread wide your grasp
    And engulf
    This petty thing
    I call life!
    Beat from me the shame;
    Regrets from times long ago passed.
    Leave me
    Like the one beneath the gravestone;
    For as they were once
    Like me,
    I shall - forever - be
    As they are now.
    And maybe, one day,
    THe fragrance will drift
    Away in the wind
    From my place,
    And - somewhere -
    I shall be....
    Remembered.




    Submitted on 2004-04-02 15:51:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice! Very Shakespearean, except in form. Honestly, it's a weird concept, like the speaker is stalking these dead people. It stikes me as a little odd. I have no real editorial comments.

    Bridge
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by O_Mal_Caor | [ Reply to This ]
      I may not no you but i love you. Damn this piece. It could have taken you 2 minutes but this is something that will alst forever. Down to your choice of words is just plain excellent. Everything about it is award winning. You picked someone out of a vast field didnt even know who he was yet you cried. Words like that come around once in a lifetime. You are truly gifted trust me. I don't know why but the use of rosemary for rememberance its unexplainable but i understand it. This is one of my favorite pieces ever. Very intense very deep very dark.
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by wallya20 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was well...this was excellent. I think you did well with your word usage, and I think you did well with your ability to take an abstract thing and bring it to life right on paper. This is what I must say one of your best works. It was long, but the actual poem gave the reader a desire to keep reading. Your vocabulary as well was very outstanding. No petty words, but instead words that made me have to think, about whether it was a double meaning or if it was just how you put it. There was no confusion in the poem. Everything was plain in simple, and the goal of the poem was more true and evident than anything. THis is definately going into my favs. Great job sweet heart, lol xoxoxo

    Julian
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautiful. To be honest I read the first section and was a little Eh.. about it, not sure if it was good, but then I kept reading and WOW. that idea is so, so... captivating and loving and longing...
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by DewdropMartini | [ Reply to This ]
      It got more and more intense as you went along, it's intresting.Even your early work is intense and it has an odd sense of dignity.Did that make sense?Well anyway, it's sad, it made me cry.I was suprised to see how emotionfilled this was, and this wasn't even anyone you knew.wow.it'so sad.But I rate it exceleent!
    I wonder if anyone will rember me when I die.Hm...Oh yeah, later
    -camoflage
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      it makes me wanna cry.it's beautiful.u have capture the emotions so beautifully. the undertone of wanting to be remembered comes out beautifully.the plea to share to know is well put out.definitely a fav
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by whyme | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! Welcome!
    I loved it too, as it was Shakespeare speak. I agree with your motivation for this piece and have found, myself, a sea of life amongst the dead which inspire timelessness. Great job! Peace, Love, Joy
    | Posted on 2004-04-02 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I like anyone who quotes Hamlet. I do love the bard. It did indeed grow in intesity.
    | Posted on 2004-04-02 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      it didn't start out with much intensity or liveliness as it did in the end esp. the last first line of the last stanza...

    Oh, tempestuous Angel,
    Bringer of death,
    Be mindful of my plea.

    it is pretty interesting... really nice vocab you got.... i had to look at the dictionary for cognizance.. good job!
    | Posted on 2004-04-02 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]
      thats pretty intense. I liked it alot and probly add it to my favs. I especially liked the ending, it was pretty cool, like the part where its like- "From my place,
    And- somewhere-
    I shall be...
    Remembered.
    Very nice.
    | Posted on 2004-04-02 00:00:00 | by Cutting Envy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    5343

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry