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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Two words~~Revised from Daddy~dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: longwinterdays
    ASL Info:    21/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.99 - 204/190/64
    Words: 669
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 676
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1116



    Description:
       This is about my Father...or so called "Daddy". Some of the feelings of not having a father were amazing, shattering, hopeless, heartfelt, lost, and most of all life-altering. Some things have made me a better person, but in the most part, my father has taught me to hate.


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    dotsTwo words~~Revised from Daddy~dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Emerging Hope
    Hopelessly lost

    Amazing pain
    Beautifully Shattered

    Gone Away
    Come again

    Feelings inside
    Fridgidly burning

    You left
    Never caring

    Me alone
    Rescue myself

    Hopeless daddy
    Faithless daughter

    Never again
    Caring FOREVER

    Forever lost
    Again, Again

    Can't forget
    Eternal Hatred




    Submitted on 2005-04-08 02:28:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey. Been a while. We used to talk a lot. oh well. This was nice. Very sad and could see the hatred in it. I've always had a dad but like when I was a kid i't slike I didn't. Never saw him. I guess you gotta forget the past and move one. I try ot anyways seeing how not much is good from my past. Well hope things are ok. Maybe talk to you later. -james
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem, I can relate to it a lot. My father has always been there but he's been too busy working to really be a father. I won't go into that long long story about my crappy childhood but I will say that I feel for you, and lamemansterms I read his story, ifes hard but we gotta keep movin on.
    Great write, and long time to see hope all is well!
    Take Care,
    -Tom
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Broaden your senses, feel who you are and why you are...get a sense of yourself and you will find your true muse to write flawless inspiring poetry...I believe that you can do it. You are a great writer...:"D
    | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by SammySueYou | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this one but this part "Me alone
    Rescue myself" can be changed a little bit..maybe rearranged but other than that it made me sad...:( You are talented, you just need to come out of your shell a bit.
    | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by SammySueYou | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok Now I'm going to tell ya my story;
    yeah like I said it's a whole other story [my deal] I had a baby boy with a girl I knew maybe 18 months total and the kid was almost a year old and everything was fine -I made many sacrafices for her so that she could go back to work like she wanted to after givibng birth [so she felt whole again,least thats what she said] I made 2x the amount of money than her in half the time -so you figure it out and one day I went to the store and I came back and she and my son Michael were gone-At first I wasn't sure what to think, and just said ehhhh, she'll be back...NO she wasnt coming back. I mean we had our fights but nothing so over the top that you would figure this would happen. Anyway I slipped into qa deep coma of drugs etc.,etc/booze you name it anything to keep from sleeping because when I did all I did was dream of a perfect night together-just us and Michael sitting around watching T.V whatever. All I know is I didn't wantto dream about that anymore so The easiret way was to not sleep at all.Needless to say that was a hell of a hole I eventually had to dig mysrelf out of-Not long after she started dating some Turkish Dude[go figure] [WTF] anyway by then she was pregnant again with our 2nd kid[13 months apart] I swear we had sex maybe 5-7 times during that time.But the baby was mine and now I had 2 and one I didn't weven know and still dont till this very day. She wound up marrying this Turkish Dude and Moved TO FREAKING TURKEY. I mean WTF was she thinking?Who the hewll would want to raise to bglonde hair boys in a 3rd world country like Turkey[no offense if you have any ties to the lovely place] So as you see your poem really did get to me a bit. I know what it's like to have this happen. I know how it must look from a womens point of view too. But I swear any [normal]man would always give his right arm and both legs to be a part of his childs up-bringing. I miss it so.. I havent seen them in over 7 years=-sad huh? Anyway if you were wondering- I keep the left arm just so I could have a free hand to pick my beer up with..hey you kick a couple of other vices you pick new ones up' I'm not perfect. See ya around[now I'm all bumbed out]
    lamemansterms
    | Posted on 2005-04-08 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm seeing a father who well in a sense lost his family which kind of hits home cause in a way I did-[but that's another story] Anyway I see the thoughts that you are conveying -I guess you left your husband and your daughter is wondering where Daddy is now-she must be about 2-Man this is something I really shouldn't start talking about-I dont know your deal but I'll guarantee any man who has a child[normal man] would always want to at least be some [even small] part of the childs life- It's a fukt up thing when a family is toern apart for reasons that just can't be fixed -ITS SAD is what it is-anyway the main thing here is you made me think+ your poem really hit home -pretty good[and bad] Nice write see ya
    L a M 3 M A N $ T 3 r M $
    | Posted on 2005-04-08 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]


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