Description: just something i jotted down, any suggestions/comments are welcome...the two things i would like the most to know about are the punctuation (which i don't usually use) and the length (which seemed short, but i think the message is shown well enough)...thanks in advance...
the road less traveled -------------------------------------------
Wander the road less traveled,
a trail for sleepers and schemers,
a path for weepers and dreamers.
On a coach driven by life,
there I sit and across from me,
in shadows waits mortality…
until the journey’s end: Death.
in the 5th line, take the comma from after "me" and put it after "sit" instead. Aside from that, I loved this. I don't think it was too short at all. I think you got the point across just fine and I absolutely love it. A favorite for sure.
In my view (and I ain't no expert) your first semi-colon could be a comma, but I don't think that matters much, otherwise, it's fine. I don't pretend to understand the meaning, unless it's about not following society's molds. Nicely written, I liked it. Be Happy Graeme
Yes, it is kinda short. Feels like you could put more in between the 3rd and 4th lines. I just got the feeling of someone living life in a box watching things go by and waiting for the end. I am not too sure on when to use ; or , or : or ^%%$@^%$^@ but I like the use of ... I do think the first ; should be changed to a , And the last two lines are fine. Well, there are my two cents...have a good one.