Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the road less traveleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: morte
    ASL Info:    17/female/earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430/348/55
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 794
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 272



    Description:
       just something i jotted down, any suggestions/comments are welcome...the two things i would like the most to know about are the punctuation (which i don't usually use) and the length (which seemed short, but i think the message is shown well enough)...thanks in advance...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe road less traveleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wander the road less traveled,
    a trail for sleepers and schemers,
    a path for weepers and dreamers.
    On a coach driven by life,
    there I sit and across from me,
    in shadows waits mortality…
    until the journey’s end: Death.




    Submitted on 2005-04-08 20:01:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      alex, this was short, but i still enjoyed it. though you could have made it a little longer, i think you could have added a little more to make it sound stronger. well, keep up the good work alex.
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
      in the 5th line, take the comma from after "me" and put it after "sit" instead. Aside from that, I loved this. I don't think it was too short at all. I think you got the point across just fine and I absolutely love it. A favorite for sure.
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      In my view (and I ain't no expert) your first semi-colon could be a comma, but I don't think that matters much, otherwise, it's fine. I don't pretend to understand the meaning, unless it's about not following society's molds.
    Nicely written, I liked it.
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, it is kinda short. Feels like you could put more in between the 3rd and 4th lines. I just got the feeling of someone living life in a box watching things go by and waiting for the end. I am not too sure on when to use ; or , or : or ^%%$@^%$^@ but I like the use of ... I do think the first ; should be changed to a , And the last two lines are fine. Well, there are my two cents...have a good one.
    | Posted on 2005-04-08 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    53731

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Genesis written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry