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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My version of Romeo and Julietdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 419
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 938
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2446



    Description:
       My love life is kinda like Romeo and juliet.
    please comment and give me some advice.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy version of Romeo and Julietdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you ever been in love and you are being separated by each others parents.
    Now listen to my version of Romeo and Juliet in todayís language.

    Her mother hates me
    Her mother thinks Iím a bad romodel.
    Her mother is judging me by where her daughter and I met.
    So what we met in the psyche ward.
    Her mother should be happy now.
    Her daughter has someone now that can understand what she going though.

    Her father hates me
    because Iíve been there more than he has.
    See he has a problem with drinking,
    and I have a problem too
    I'm to in love with this girl.
    I would shred blood for this girl
    I would die for this girl.
    See for her, she made me what I'm today
    so for she is my star.
    How could are parents doubt you?
    Never think about you
    Donít they know nothing is possible without you?

    My father thinks there daughter is nothing but drama, yet they want me to go out with this girl that is pregnant isn't that enough drama right there.
    My mother think she as good as trash
    All she does is bash her.
    My mother wishing that she would crash.
    See my parents have a problem they are pill poppers.
    Yet this girl has a problem too.
    She to in love with me.
    she would shred blood for me.
    she would die for me.
    See for me, I made her what she is today
    so for Iím her star.
    How could my parents doubt us?
    Never think about us
    Donít they know nothing is possible without us together.

    If they separate us this makes more rebellion and we will not give up are love up just because what are parents think about one another.

    The touch of her lips upon mine makes my heart skip a beat.
    I'm so weak without her touch.
    Why don't are parents understand this.
    I can't live without her and she can't live without me.
    If I can't be with her and she can't be with me .
    We will go some where we can't be told.
    We have agreed to terms to each other.
    We will take are lifeís.
    So we will be reunited in heaven.
    So we can live in peace
    and love each other with out having family having hatred to each others kid.
    Now don't tell me this is not true love.




    Submitted on 2005-04-09 15:40:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is an interesting love story...but it was nice to read that you won't let anything come between you and the one you truly have these strong feelings for. Parents can be overbearing at times and need to let their kids figure things out for themselves. How else are they going to learn and grow, right?
    Either way, aside from grammatical stuff, this was a pretty good write!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      i know exactly hoe you feel with thisone. my parents dont want me to be with the guy i love more than anything adnhis parents dont like me because they say im to much drama.so i know where you are coming from with this one.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
      cool, i liked it a lot but you repeted yourself a little and there are a few spelling errors, parents are a pain in the ass and that is for sure, this one seems a little different from the other ones you have written but it is always good to step outside the box.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... i really liked this. you made the reader feel what you two feel for each other. its very heartfelt and emotional. a few spelling errors but other than that i loved it great work. and if it were me id tell my parents to back off it is not their life. but any how yea keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      A shout of depression. You seems really experience this, men i thought that only me the one who got bad love destiny. I think u can shout this out as a rap song.
    | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by Soldier O_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW this was amazing it was very deep and heart felt i could feel how you feel through this it was great and i say to hell with your parents
    | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by kcck | [ Reply to This ]
      that is really beautiful, and if i could, i'd go slap both u guys' parents upside the heads and tell them to back off, but i can't. i can feel that you love her veyr much.(a little redundent, i know) but i've met guys in crazier places so tell yur parents to deal with it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by dark lover | [ Reply to This ]
      ok...mm..interesting...its quite funny that you wrote that you met each other in a psyche ward...anyways,this is good,but it would be so much better if you look over the spelling..some of the words you typed out made it difficult to read and understand.for instance,intstead of using "our",you used "are"..change that,and this piece would be so much better.
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by black_joker1292 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. The flow of the whole thing fit in together. I think it was a bit sweet and more then a bit sad. The onlything I see is that a few lines I think you should seprate but other then that this is really good.
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting version of Romeo and Juliet. I can tell you really love this girl for i too share a love like this. although there were some spelling error's and you repeated a couple of things.. i like it. it truly expresses how you feel. your parents are [censored]s. with them being the way they are, they have no right to tell you that you can't see or be with her. sometimes parents make rebellion the last resort. but anyway.. your poem's great. hope to hear more from you.
    | Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by binkerz | [ Reply to This ]


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