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    dots Submission Name: Two worlds apartdots

    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1050
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 476

       Just rambling again. I wrote this over a year ago, However I don't feel like it's finshed. It's pretty short.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwo worlds apartdots

    Two spirits collide
    in the pouring rain
    looking for the truth
    the whispers of the heart
    will give them away
    A epic love story
    two worlds apart
    but moving in the right direction
    towards a distant sunrise
    with the dawn in their eyes
    they see love for the first time
    a promise that can not be broken
    bound by eternity

    Submitted on 2005-04-10 04:38:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good read so far, it does need a little more.
    It has a good lead of intrigue to it. Would love to see it finished.
    | Posted on 2012-04-13 00:00:00 | by PrettyHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I beg to differ on this piece, It might be short, but you have intricately captured the moment...You have meticulously conversed the emotions that are felt by both souls...As you already know, some of the most captivating work of art is writen simply, but articulates immense worder with very few words...I am so moved by this write..I loved the way the lines run perpetually for they inticed me to reading further and that has a phenomenal impact towards the feel that this poem is also conversing...A very sooooooothing write...most thouroughly appreciated work of art...Thank you for sharing!Be happy...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm, i think you're right...not just that it's too short, but that it's not done. i think you set the stage for the poem, but the story itself is big...two star crossed lovers...colliding...so the reader expects more...hope to read more if you lengthen it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by closetpoet | [ Reply to This ]

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