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Your body suffocates my thoughts with masochistic hedonism Hard bodies roll on the floor in ecstasy by the emotional pluralism Strong arms which take control and guide me And a handsome Italian head which cuddles besides me I breathe hard as long, strong fingers clinch on my hair Plunging in the abyss of lust sweaty air Inside I quiver, a heart trembles and mauve delirium rises to Heaven As my head rubs against you I count blissful climaxes: seven times seven! Apotheosis! |
"Your body suffocates my thoughts " A nice image here. I insist on hard imagery so this type of etherical thought is hard for me to express. I thought that line specifically was well done." As my head rubs against you I count blissful endings: seven times seven!" Ok, since this piece is obviously directional. I'm not in a position to totally understand the last three words. However as an outside observer the tie in, doesn't work for me. To be more clear, as its the title of the piece. I wish there was a dual meaning to the those three words. I don't necessarily have to understand what you intend the subject to get, but it'd be tighter if it worked on another level as well. Keep it up. Of course, if we're talking about 49 climaxes on a personal level can i just say kudos. -harley- | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by harley3k | [ Reply to This ] | Interesting...*tryin to feel it*. Not the best poem I've ever read...or the second best...or third...etc. but it definately wasn't bad. I like the Masochistic feel to it...however..I don't totally understand the peice. which is fine...cuz that was probably the point..anyway. Good work. | | Posted on 2005-04-10 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ] | |