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    dots Submission Name: Cancerous Intensitydots

    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 207
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 914
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1111

       Written for miss Dead Weight. Thank you, Lara. I love you.

    Ever feel like something is so good that your fear gets so strong every time you think about losing it, that it hurts? That is what I'm trying to say here.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCancerous Intensitydots

    But when I kiss you, my eyes open

    Because intense buzzing

    Fills your ears.

    Or is that

    My tongue?

    Carcinogenic saliva

    Makes it hard to breathe

    As radio waves

    Pull on the Cancer

    That is growing

    In my heart. It hurts

    Too much for me

    To know that when

    You say youíre dying

    I canít remember

    Where the line divides

    My heart from

    Yours; So I think

    That when you say

    Youíre dying, you

    Are really talking

    About the way I feel

    When you pull away,

    Because intense buzzing

    Fills my ears (or yours?)

    And as my eyes open,

    Every ounce of

    My pain screams:


    ---Padraig C. Nolan

    Submitted on 2005-04-11 10:19:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked it. Maybe because iknow what you're talking about...
    everything you write is very personal, and no one can really understand it but you.
    I always liked that. So many people write random junk, but everything you say is heartfelt and meaningful.
    Plus its just damn beautiful. And i can't do much else but compliment you.
    You don't need the compliments. your egos' too big already.
    and i mean that in THE nicest way.
    I don't mind you being confident.

    I think the comment left by CYANIDE made NO grammatical sense whatsoever, half the sentences were total bull[censored]... I don't understand how people can be so ignorant...
    "you could of"
    "you could have"

    and "now for the content wise" doesn't even make sense.

    people suck.

    love ya
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by Dead Weight | [ Reply to This ]
      a nice poem... even though i cannot write like this and the genre i usually stay in is unhappy, and dark... well... this one was very veryu good... it was fun to read even though i do not know you guys enough to truely judge... it was still a wonderful read and i could still understand... it was fun... thank you for a good read
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]
      i had to concentrate hard when i was reading this because it seeme to skip around a bit. i believe there was a beautiful sentiment behind this but

    [[Or is that
    My tongue?
    Carcinogenic saliva
    Makes it hard to breathe
    As radio waves
    Pull on the Cancer
    That is growing
    In my heart. It hurts ]]

    adds a negative touch, so i wasnt quite sure where you were going with it. i percieve this as you can't stand to pull away from this girl as you kiss her because the thought of losing her consumes you. i know what that's like. i liked the subject, so with revision i think this could be great. good luck :)
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]

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