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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Theatre-lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: _taateli_
    ASL Info:    18/F/Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 84/113/29
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1005
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1344



    Description:
       okayyyy. i doubt there will be many who understand this one or like it. but wha'ever. this was again something i wrote pretty quickly and havent really checked through it for typos or such things yet. might do some changes still. i like mushrooms. and champagne.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Theatre-lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the stage is empty
    the theatre is closed
    I slide on the floor
    [where are they?]
    I missed the show
    --of my life
    no-one’s there to save me
                  now
    there’s no backdoor to let me
                  out

    I sit on the floor
    weeping
    sleeping
    feeling
    --nothing
    a mask is lying on the floor
    with me
    smiling
    crying
    the mask
    of my life

    a lonely flyer
    and a plastic bag
    [plastic bag]
    flying in the air
    so cold
    --flying in the theatre?

    and the cry of pain
    on my face
    turns to a joyful
    smile
    and
    --I laugh

    [[from my heart]]

    there’s such beauty in it
                  all
    that my heart bursts
    weeping
    and smiling
    and screaming
    and I want to
                  dance
    but then I remember
    the show is over

    [turn off the light]




    Submitted on 2005-04-11 12:22:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, this kind of scared me at first. Why? I hope I read this right, maybe not, but here's what did it. "theater', "mask", "plastic bag", "flying in the theater", "pain", "turns to joyful smile", turn out the light." Do you see what I mean. Read as a poem about drug use it becomes scary. Life is the "theater." Hiding behind a "mask" can have many meanings, all unhappy ones. Finding solace in a "plastic bag" that brings "joy", sets one to "flying", temporary thrill ride that soon crashes, bringing death and darkness, "turn out the light." These things are frightening. I do hope I've mis-read this.

    Assuming I have and this is about "acting", then it's a whole other message. Opportunity is a fleeting thing, and one must be there at the right time. An "empty stage" would be a bad sign. The "mask" now becomes a symbol of "am I fooling myself?" The "plastic bag' and "flyer" float by and this brings a smile and a laugh. The untimely actor feels a resurgence of of the art, but sadly realizes, once again, "the shows over", another opportunity has been missed.

    Both interpretations are sad, but the first is the fearful one. In the second viewpoint all that's needed is committment and timing.

    That's how I see it. Let me know if I even came close.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      All the world's a stage and all the people merely players. The theme of your poem is not new of course, or else where would Phantom of the Opera be. Your approach of extreme compression is somewhat novel where line length and word length become synonymous. However such a narrow canvas does notgive you a lot of scope for interesting rhythms or phraseology and like the heart monitor machine in that other theatre, this poem is almost flat-lining.
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, I hate the stage so much. Its like I can never be real when I'm in front of people like that. Like, I lose the little part of me that shows through the character. The lights on the stage show all the misfortunes, if you're having a bad day with big bags under your eyes, the lights somehow make the bags seems bigger and darker and you just look haggish under them. The stage is such an evil place for the people who don't even really know who they are (like me). It's like giving someone a licsense to lie.
    I think that I really like the words that you left offset from the rest, it kind of reinforces the simplicity of them, but also how they are necessary. My favourite part was definately about the mask. It's like the lie/dream that the person had just fell and was lying there, waiting to be swept away with all of the other stage junk. But, the mask also shows emotion, like it is an entirely different being, even though it posesses the same emotions as the main one.
    I know this sound sall hagled and rambled, but to explain it, I liked it. In a weird sort of I'mnevergoingonthestageagain way.
    ~Jess
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]


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