As I said in the other piece, I believe you've taken this concept through to a variety of cool ideas <and your minor edit of this piece since you posted it is good>. It's subtle but obvious.
Your style is far more direct than what I usually go for with my own work, but when you write about mirrors, you should refect something pure and hold it up for everyone to see.
And if you'll forgive the pun, I think you've covered it from every angle!
You done good, girlie!
PS No mirrors where harmed, hahahhaa, you're so clever!
'About what is happening to me It's like they have created their own world'
that right there is the greatest thing because it is speaking of mirrors. After all-they reflect back what they see, and the idea of them making their own world from your own reflection... very kool, kind of creepy.
This is my first not long comment of the day; I looked and my average is like 92.something words per comment which means that I need to actually SAY something when I comment.
Your icon is REALLY creepy, even more so than the mirror-world thing lol...
I didnt mean to take out the # thing I liked that -it showed a sense of generality that we are all in the same boat and thats just how we are refered to as. lamemansterms
you know it seems youmight have gotten the idea of #88217 from someone we both know-anyway I know whats it's like to have the world always draggiung you down, but that is why we choose to get up every day to prove them wrong. If we stayed in bed all day every dsay it woulkd be like admitting defeat. The only thing I didnt like about this was the amount of times you used the word LOST -it seems a lot more than what it really is but you even have it back to back on a couple of lines. I dont know , its just my opinion but I would try to find another synonym or something ,it is a little bit repetitive. I think you'll see what I mean. Anyway my fellow stalk, this was a bit differnt from you and I like that. I would have prefered you looking at yourself in the mirror and then you shatter the glass and proceed to slash your body up with the shards of glass to show your discomfort with the world always "in your face" (thats something like I want to see next time) Because this piece very easily couyld have went from simple angst to a real REAL deep GNARLEY poem if you can see what I mean? Anyway that was a good piece and I am interested in seeing the Gnarley stuff I am about to bring out in you. So get the closet door open cause I'm going through it and WARNING: NOTHING is off limits lamemansterms
"My picture is forever torn My reflection lost forever My soul will be lost And never to be found" Forever... such a powerful and all encompassing term and the repitition of lost and forever merely made the emotion more clear to me. The sheer, almost mystical. depression fused with a chaotic world amazes me. I do agree, however, it does seem it wants to rhyme.
Submission Name: Wall of Mirrors
