[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sensationsdots

    Author: Maskannai
    ASL Info:    28/Female/Utah
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 214/184/78
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210

       Written at a moment of inspiration.. Lemme know what you think..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I feel...

    Something new and exciting
    and indescribable.
    The touch of your soft fingers
    as you run them lightly
    up and down my hairless arms,
    and my heart flutters
    as if it might tickle them,
    but it feels so good at the same time.

    The touch of your tender lips
    as you kiss me with butterfly wings,
    and my heart leaps
    for the emotion envoked through
    such a simple touch.

    That simple touch
    of fingertips and lips and clouded eyes
    draws my soul like a moth
    burning in a freezing flame,
    blue light casting shadows
    over our pink skin
    as I allow you to wander,
    your fingers and lips caressing
    more sensitive places,
    and I cry silently
    through the pain
    and pleasure you bring me.

    These sensations are almost too much
    as you send me careening
    into the depths of your love
    holding me in your arms tightly
    so I know you will never let me go,
    and as the pleasure nears pain
    you bring me back down
    drifting on clouds of soft whisperings,
    and I feel you.

    Submitted on 2005-04-11 17:13:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was a nice poem. I can relate to the feeling. Although not for awhile! I like how you describe things but one thing don't go too far with that in the future cuz then your poem will drag on. I'm glad you love someone enough to give yourself to them in the way you described. I can tell this would have been a memory you'll remember for a lifetime. keep writing Peace Mysterious
    | Posted on 2005-04-20 00:00:00 | by Mysterious Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...umm... that put me and my little guy at ATTENTION! lol This poem is something that i've been wanting to create for the longest of times its so damn good it's descriptive, it keeps my attentio all the way through, and it makes me feel as though i'm right in the poem. This poem also tells me that this my not be fiction huh huh am I right lol sounds like someone's going on personal exp. but thats alright it made this poem a masterpeice and just for being so good i'm adding it to my favs right NOW! I hope you have more poem's like this cause i'll be wanting to read 'em child. 1 love
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by C. Flava | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a great job of saying without saying. anyone can sit down and spoon feed me a poem and even others can not quite get by with almost doing it. here you say nothing. you speak nothing but of a kiss and perhards a hug and loving touch.

    it really is nice. i like you way you begin with "i feel" and then go on to describe the entire scene. it lends to a sense of continutiy. it makes it seem all a sense instead of a list of events in which you decided to throw the random emotion or sense.

    the way you describe being pulled up and brought back down, being able to feel him - its beyond anything. i've never acctually been there, but i can feel it from what you describe. its a great sensation. (hence the title i assume)

    it really is a nice piece. most definitly bonus points for not being afraid to post something with happy undertones in a place where we most often find depression and loss.

    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, quite emotional, you did an excellent job of transforming inspiration in all its splendor into a piece which makes us want what you have, to get to the same point in our minds, with our loves...I loved the first half of your poem the best, though, the more you wrote the more obvious you wrote, the individuality which the poem could provide became less and less, but thats how it is with some writings. I thought this was very beautiful, though most of your writing is. Looking forward to more!

    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]
      Let me give you a tip straight away...if you can make a fellow writer tear up within the frist couple stanzas of your piece, then you have written a great thing indeed. For this is exactly what this writting has done to me. I won't say I can relate to your piece, because I can't...it must be absolutely wonderful to have someone with which you can experience this. I know for the sake of details you were trying to be descriptive, but I'd leave out "hairless" and just let the arms be. In my eyes, that description was too distracting from the emotion. Perhaps, however, you want to receive more feedback before you change anything though, whatsay? This is quite simply an honest piece, and MY was it refreshing. So much more positive than some of the other writings I've chanced upon. Continue to make magick!
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]