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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oneword: Hollowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: melcavea
    Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 16/15/5
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 294



    Description:
       This was written for www.oneword.com. They have a word every day and you have 60 seconds to write something surrounding that word...this one was for the word "Hollow."


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOneword: Hollowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She sits within a hollow tree
    Watching the snow
    Fall gently from within
    Like a wave of
    White feathers adrift in the air.
    The illuminated snow
    winked serenely
    In the pale light of the moon
    Who’s face gazed upon
    the earth tranquilly




    Submitted on 2005-04-12 11:42:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This was great for being written in 60 seconds. I dont think I could have done it in 60 minutes. Your metaphors were excellent. White feathers (brilliant)
    The imagery puts you right in there.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good symbolism, especially in 60 seconds, impressive. My only pick is easy fixed,

    Who's face" should be "Whose face."
    Well done!
    Be happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this piece & I'm glad it's not gone in 60 seconds!

    This reminded me instantly after the first line of a native princess sitting in a large, hollow redwood tree or some other large tree - looking out at the fresh and divine landscape! I do word-a-day but I'll have to check this one out too! Love, Peace, Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice i really like it , i enjoyed the metaophors the obvious thought you put into this and also it is said things writtin on pure emotion are often greats so in my opinion its perfect a great read , very genuine by the way i'm No Talent check out some of my work sometime and let me kno what ya think aight
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this this crisp clean telling small verse. Your imagery is exceptional for instance ... "The illuminated snow winked serenely". This poem was extremley short not to be in a haiku/senyru format but works like one so clear and chaste to the point. Good write. `always poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      not bad for one minute! a minute's worth of minute (couldn't resist) detail. indeed, not too shabby at all, it flows, it's consistant, word.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      A well written piece for 1 minute's writing. An enjoyable read. Eloquently put. Flows well. And the imagery is superb in this short little poem .. of a girl, a tree, snow, and the moon.
    Well done!

    Take Care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      NOt bad for 60 seconds. You were able to put a lot of imagery in such a short write. And you took a word that most people think of a depressing and turned it into a positive writing. You didnt try to write about the word hallow...you just used it as another part in a nice and eloquent piece. Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      the imagery is great lets my imagination go wild
    the hollow tree seems to mean a hollow soul and like hers mine is as well great write keep up the good work
    -Darkwarrior
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]


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