About a month after Justin and I started dating my grandmother passed away. I had to go out of town for the weekend to go to the funeral. It was one week and two days before my birthday that she passed and one week when we buried her. Needless to say that Monday I was somewhat depressed because of the weekend. Justin and I didn't talk on the phone at this time so he didn't know about my grandmother yet. (Hers was the second one I had gone to that week. I went to another one earlier in the week. It was a girl that was only sixteen and had cancer. She was a real christian girl too). When I was sitting in my desk at Tech I was kind of lost in thought about the weekend. I had told some of the people earlier that day and none of them believed me until my friend told them about how I walked over to her house in tears about it. They believed me then. They didn't believe me because we buried her on a Sunday instead of waiting until Monday to do so.
Finally Justin arrived and he noticed that I wasn't smiling or laughing about anything that day. I had told my teacher about it and he understood why I really wasn't in the mood to do any work. I looked at Justin and said "Hi. How are you today?" He knew that I didn't just ask to be asking because I hardly ever do that. He said "Okay I guess. How are you?" I looked at him and then looked down at my desk sadly and said "I'm a little depressed." He looked at me and asked "Why? What happend to make you depressed?" I got to the point where I almost didn't tell him but I gave in a said "I had to go to another funeral this weekend." He said "Really? Who's?" "My grandma's." He put his hand on my shoulder and said "I'm sorry to here that. I didn't know that she was that sick." I nodded and said "Yeah. Remember when I said that she was so bad that she could go at anytime?" He nodded remembering. I say "It happened this weekend. I hate that it happened so soon." He looked at me with sad eyes as if to say that he understood what I meant. The teacher told the class to get started on the work that he put on the board for us and I looked at him and said "I'm too depressed to work." I closed my notebook and he didn't say anything about it. Justin then says "Me too. I'm depressed because Amanda's depressed." Neither one of us did our work that day. I knew that I was going to be a little bit depressed the next day so I tried to cheer myself up that night so that he wouldn't worry to much about me.
In November of that same year I found out that I had to get all four of my wisdom teeth cut out. I had to miss a weeks worth of school so that screwed up a lot of things for me. My grades and my mind. I told Justin about it and he said "Who am I going to pick on while you're out?" I looked at him and said "You'll find someone to replace me for the week." He looked at me and laughed. I was happy to see that he was smiling even though I was going to be out for a week. When I had my surgery to get my wisdom teeth out I was really groggy. Not the first time that it happend. I had had a surgery a few years earlier. Anyway when I got back to school I knew that my cheecks were still a little swolen so I tried not to let on that it hurt. I looked at Justin and said "My cheecks were worse than this last week when I had my teeth taken out. I looked like a little chipmunk." He laughed and said "I would have given anything to see that. Are you okay though?" I looked at him laughing and nodded indicating that I was fine.
Christmas was coming up fast and I didn't know what to get him. My mom suggested to give him a knife and so I did. Except I didn't get to give it to him personally. I started having some chest pains and didn't know what it was from. I found out that I was having panic attacks. I didn't even know what I was having them for. I got my friend to give the present to him for me. He got me a watch because he knew that I didn't have one. I liked it a lot and he liked his as well. I didn't know when a good time for me to be back at school was so I stayed out the next day for a precaution. I called him the night that I had his gift sent to him and he had mine sent to me to be sure that he like his gift. He did. I said "I will try to be back at school tomorrow." He said "If you're not feeling good don't come. You need to rest." I thought that was so sweet. I had started to fall in love with him in October but I didn't want him to know that. I ended up telling him anyway. That night made me fall in love with him some more. I didn't think that it was possible until then.
| I am sorry to hear about the lost of your grandmother,here's a big hug|
this chapter was quite sad,but again so real.
it was so sweet when justin said he was depressed too,that was so romantic.
Yes getting wisdom teeth out suck, i know when it happen to me,they had to brak my face to get them out.
again I like reading your story and looking forward to reading more,because I get to learn more about you.
here's another big hug
|| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ] |