Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 788



    Description:
       THis was just something that I wrote thought for thought...I guess I am not thrilled with it but yeah tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A shadow of doubt clamoring inside skin that breaks
    I muse to see you
    I do adore you
    But in my head I breathe a little better
    I know that these thoughts will never escape
    one wish to keep the silence
    and I pray that you could never know

    A shadow of pain clamoring down into the crevices of my heart
    what pain I could speak of if you knew the layings of this place
    if you saw your own face here on my walls
    the walls of a heart that you will never know belongs to you
    so...stop the questions
    you know I could never resist you
    I could never deny you
    stop before I reveal too much
    and I have to watch once again the digust on your face
    please stop asking me if I am okay




    Submitted on 2005-04-12 12:21:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you do express very well.i do try to determine if the motivation is just that great to you,is the reason you excell,or would you be good at writing just about anything(maybe say short stories)
    i believe the the latter

    wes all toyysruss
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very deep write so much to say probably one of the best i've read in along time
    the title choice was good as well because you leave us not knowing the subject very nice image great write and terrific read
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Apparently you must be talking about someone who is constantly asking if you are okay. I like it though. This is a very good write. I hope that you keep up all your writings like you do. My words that I write aren't as powerful as yours are though. I like this a lot.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful. I like the way you completely expressed your emotions. "stop before i reaveal too much" seems like a plea, but it is hard to tell because there is no punctuation. Writing for yourself and leaving out punctuation is fine, but when you post your works, it helps others to better understand if you punctuate.
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    54218

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    To written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry