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    dots Submission Name: What I Asked of Youdots

    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 376
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2123

       I asked for a dream. I never thought I'd have it. But I did.

    Yes, this has a lot to do with my faith.

    My dear friend Ken's review of this poem: When we free ourselves even a little from the sin that otherwise entangles us (see Hebrews 12:1) we are enabled to see more clearly the design He has for us. Sometimes its a novel, bigger picture of how great and wise God is; sometimes it is a great sense of comfirmation that He is there; and other times, like this, there is a dream of the beauty of what's ahead. Psalm 139 is perhaps a good Biblical example of this type.

    As we grow closer to God our hearts are set free (John 8:32). You speak of a beautiful desire God has placed in your heart.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat I Asked of Youdots

    I asked for something I thought You’d never give.
    You knew that if You didn’t, there’s no way I could live.
    I wanted it so badly, I cried and I prayed.
    I knew You wouldn’t give it until I obeyed.

    So I abstained from the sin, the evils I have done.
    I thought it away, and burned it under Your loving Son.
    But I found no solace in that slowly emptied hole.
    The darkness in my life should not play such an important role.

    I ached to be pure, to receive what I asked.
    I wept in my pain at failing the appointed task.
    I felt as though You were forcing me to do it alone.
    The loneliness eroded through blood and bone.

    I struggled as I slept, hoping in my dreams.
    But night after night I found nothing to believe.
    I woke each morning with a lie and a scare.
    I wanted what I wanted, and called You unfair.

    But justice is justice, and grace is grace.
    You could lay out what we deserve, but that’s not the case.
    You love us in discipline, You let us learn.
    And only ask we love You in return.

    One twilight it came: what I asked of You.
    When I woke I nearly cried thinking it wasn’t true.
    I felt no peace about the matter, nor any sense of dread.
    Just gratitude for what You’d taken and placed in my head.

    I saw his sparkling eyes, held worn and weary hands.
    Was comforted and persuaded with no demands.
    He told me of the future, and what we were meant to be.
    But I closed my eyes against him, thinking I couldn’t see.

    In later days You told me that what I’d seen was right.
    The vision would not come to me on any other night.
    It had come and gone, so I held it in my mind.
    With fleeting thoughts of the hope I would find.

    Now I wait and I wonder why it was he.
    Could the one I sought to be rid of be the one for me?
    Tell me no lies, give me answers honest.
    If this hallucination is my future, don’t let me forget it.

    Submitted on 2005-04-12 21:55:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice. It took me by surprise. I understood your feelings, and I (as the reader) was feeling them word by word.

    You are very good at expressing your emotions. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by nilecoder | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyming in this was almost perfect...and I also liked the way you worded it..I, like AngelOutlaw, am concerned as to what the dream was about..but other than that I liked it..

    By the way, you commented on my poem Hell Awaits Me...I'm not usually into dark poems and to be honest, I have no clue where it came from..just popped into my head.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautiful. Now I am so curious! Will you please tell me what this dream was about, specifically? Hehe, I know I am a very nosy person, and I understand if you don't want to share. See you tomorrow.
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know about dark red pain's comment. I feel what you were saying, you were talking about god right.. but the rythem wa a little off, you need to cut out, or add some syllabels to make it flow a little better.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      To be honest this is really not my kind of poem however i think that you wrote it beautifully with good rhyme and rythm creating great flow... it was good structurally. (i dont think i spelt that right lol) good job
    | Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]

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