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Dreams and Hearts, broken


Author: Sebby
ASL Info:    14/Male/Timbaktu
Elite Ratio:    6.2 - 67 /78 /29
Words: 386
Class/Type: Lyrics /Alone
Total Views: 930
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2395



Description:


Heyyz, pls read and review. I started to write lyrics based on a title "The Silent Coffin", but hell, i didn't manage to get that out of my system, but instead digressed until this came out. Sadly, I haven't been much good in lyric-writing, but I'm hoping this is up to standard. It's briefly about a guy who is pretty much in a denial stage when his gal commits suicide, something like that I think...And if you could suggest a better title, pls do so...I have a feeling mine isn't good, at all...

Sebby


Dreams and Hearts, broken



A girl with a troubled past
And a boy with a broken heart
I see much potential when
The boy gets to be her man.

You were that girl I knew
That happened to be in plain view
You weren’t crying, you didn’t frown
But your smile was that attracting crown
Perhaps for the good reasons
Or also for the bad ones

But you still didn’t have that reason

To leave me standing all alone
It’s raining, I’m chilled to the bone
But I’ll wait for you, I’m waiting for you
To come on back and prove that I’m no fool.

Cos’ I still dream about your smile
And I’m gonna make these dreams worthwhile
Cos’ I’m still dreaming of our kiss
That for once plunged me into bliss
Cos’ I’m still dreaming of you here,
Wrapped up in my arms, without a fear.
Cos’ I’m still dreaming that you’ll see
That when you left, so did a part of me.

I could see that sadness in your eyes
As haunting as the owl cries
Mirroring that helpless pain
And wishing for someone to be your novocain.

But that happens to be the fucking irony…

We were on the road to recovery
Leading our lives, for once we were free
In the day we talked to each other
At night we cried into our shoulders.
Vindication was close enough to touch
But you had to give up and end it all for us

You’re still too young to die from love
But you're never too young die of an overdose

Cos’ I still dream about your smile
And I’m gonna make these dreams worthwhile
Cos’ I’m still dreaming of our kiss
That for once plunged me into bliss
Cos’ I’m still dreaming of you here,
Wrapped up in my arms, without a fear.
Cos’ I’m still dreaming that you’ll see
That when you left, so did a part of me.

I wanna wake up to your voice
I wanna see kiss your lips so moist
I wanna see you smiling happily
Not lying six feet under me…

A girl with a troubled past
A boy with a broken heart
But the problem is that the girl’s no more
And the boy’s heart is shattered furthermore...




Submitted on 2005-04-13 09:35:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  It lacks rhythmn. To know whether your work has rhythmn or not, trying reading it aloud to yourself, even use a tape recorder. As you get a feel for it, you can take extra words out here and there, or perhaps add some. Too much use of the word- that.
| Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]


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