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A girl with a troubled past And a boy with a broken heart I see much potential when The boy gets to be her man. You were that girl I knew That happened to be in plain view You weren’t crying, you didn’t frown But your smile was that attracting crown Perhaps for the good reasons Or also for the bad ones But you still didn’t have that reason To leave me standing all alone It’s raining, I’m chilled to the bone But I’ll wait for you, I’m waiting for you To come on back and prove that I’m no fool. Cos’ I still dream about your smile And I’m gonna make these dreams worthwhile Cos’ I’m still dreaming of our kiss That for once plunged me into bliss Cos’ I’m still dreaming of you here, Wrapped up in my arms, without a fear. Cos’ I’m still dreaming that you’ll see That when you left, so did a part of me. I could see that sadness in your eyes As haunting as the owl cries Mirroring that helpless pain And wishing for someone to be your novocain. But that happens to be the fucking irony… We were on the road to recovery Leading our lives, for once we were free In the day we talked to each other At night we cried into our shoulders. Vindication was close enough to touch But you had to give up and end it all for us You’re still too young to die from love But you're never too young die of an overdose Cos’ I still dream about your smile And I’m gonna make these dreams worthwhile Cos’ I’m still dreaming of our kiss That for once plunged me into bliss Cos’ I’m still dreaming of you here, Wrapped up in my arms, without a fear. Cos’ I’m still dreaming that you’ll see That when you left, so did a part of me. I wanna wake up to your voice I wanna see kiss your lips so moist I wanna see you smiling happily Not lying six feet under me… A girl with a troubled past A boy with a broken heart But the problem is that the girl’s no more And the boy’s heart is shattered furthermore... |
It lacks rhythmn. To know whether your work has rhythmn or not, trying reading it aloud to yourself, even use a tape recorder. As you get a feel for it, you can take extra words out here and there, or perhaps add some. Too much use of the word- that.| Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ] | |