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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Emilydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 665
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1343



    Description:
       Amazing how words just spill out :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmilydots
    -------------------------------------------


    She and the sun rise together,
    Like twins, radiating warmth at 6.00am,
    Shining and smiling and eager to glow,
    And bright! Ain't she just.

    She is a sage, her wisdom is natural
    and easy and offered freely.
    We are on a learning exchange.
    Sometimes I wonder who is the parent here.

    She mothers me too, I see myself in her ways.
    Some bad, mostly good, I'm proud to say.
    She is growing into herself and out of her clothes,
    and she's into everything and out every chance she gets.

    She loves treasure hunts on muddy trails.
    Can pulls make sparkly trinkets and stones become precious,
    But not as precious as her shining smiles and sparkling eyes
    And her excited cries of "Look mummy, look!" are to me.

    And even puddles are magic in her expanding world,
    I wonder if a quiet splatt sounds like a giant wave crashing,
    to her cute ears, her button nose tickling with droplets.
    Quick to cry, quick to laugh, so in touch with herself.

    And she touches me everyday, in my heart,
    Where it counts, 1, 2, 3, and all the way up
    to ten out of ten for happiness; Yes!
    Even in cloudy weather, she is the shining sun.






    Submitted on 2005-04-13 11:14:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful. You must tuck it away forever and a day, -your daughter will cherish it always.
    I liked so much here, the way you describe her as a twin to the sun, rising early and shining brightly. The wry loving observations of a mother-
    "Sometimes I wonder who is the parent here." and
    "She is growing into herself and out of her clothes"

    But mostly, I take with me one lasting photograph, -that of Emily shining for you even in inclement weather-
    "Even in cloudy weather, she is the shining sun."

    The diction here suits the subject, a playful mixture of poignant wisdom and awe, -and the simple ingenue wording of the child.
    Truly lovely
    Sally
    | Posted on 2005-04-20 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, this is just too sweet. I like the name Emily (because I like Dickinson). It reminds me of my cousin's daughter. She's going on four, and she's getting so big. I also see a lot of myself in this.

    She is a sage, her wisdom is natural
    and easy and offered freely.
    We are on a learning exchange.
    Sometimes I wonder who is the parent here.

    You know, I've always believed that children have an innate wisdom and morality that we should all seek to reclaim. If you talk to a child, it never seems to have occured to them that people are different (much less to hate them). That's what I love about kids.

    And even puddles are magic in her expanding world,
    I wonder if a quiet splatt sounds like a giant wave crashing,
    to her cute ears, her button nose tickling with droplets.
    Quick to cry, quick to laugh, so in touch with herself.

    I love that stanza. I used to be a little puddle stompin' rain dancer. I can just see her having a grand old time. I'm not sure if splat has two t's though. This is just SOOOOOOO sweet.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      what a heart warming and amazingly wrote poem. the love you have for your daughter shines through every word.
    "She is growing into herself and out of her clothes"
    is an excellent line this is by far one of the best poems i have seen on this site!
    well done, i know your daughter will tresure this poem in many years to come and take great comfort in knowing how much her mother loves her!
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by lilmiznaughty04 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is amazing in a sense that only a mother could write this powerfully about her child. It's good, i say put a copy of it in Emily's scrapbook so when she gets older, she can appreciate her mother's love for her.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      It is an awsome thing to see something emerge from children that can not be boiled down to something they have experiened. When the self begins to come out of a child it can be very powerful to observe for a parent. Sometimes she parents you. This is a testement to her love for you and you should take comfort that the two of you are not alone, but have each other. Good subject for poetry..your love for a child.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Al | [ Reply to This ]
      "She is growing into herself and out of her clothes"

    I love this line, best one in this poem imo. This piece is cute, I think you captured her shine quite good especially in the first stanza. My only suggestion is to expand this a bit, maybe adding another stanza, because the ending is not that great.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


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