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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Atomic Angeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Paradox
    ASL Info:    25/m/Earthbound
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 520/313/58
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 466
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 529



    Description:
       ...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAtomic Angeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    She has octopus eyelashes and an unlucky charm
    (I swear I saw motion itself giving me a wink)
    She has alien skin and an odorless smell
    (It's not that impossible really)
    She has silicon flesh
    (Artificial but true)
    She has honey blood
    (Actually it tastes rather bitter)
    She has phosphorescent hair and a halo
    (It’s easier to find her in the dark when drunk)
    She has eyes colored violet most violent of colors




    Submitted on 2005-04-13 12:25:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Couple of things... if you don't mind...

    She has octopuss eyelashes and an unlucky charm

    {Octopus.}

    (Its not that impossible really)

    {It's.}

    She has sillicon flesh

    {Silicon.}

    The format here is interesting because of the differentiation between (almost psychedelic, haha) images and what they actually are, in reality. The truth of her. Makes me think of someone building herself up to be someone great, to play a role, be cool, you know? But it's not an accurate portrait without the shadows, is it?

    I don't have much to add, I'm afraid.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Alia
    | Posted on 2008-05-16 00:00:00 | by Storm of Bliss | [ Reply to This ]
      Again, I was drawn by the title. Very intriguing combination. I don't think I ever read something remotely similar to this. It astounds me because I deeply value the strict form of my own poems but like it when others use it otherwise. This is very expressive and vivid in color and atmosphere. I take it it's your vision of beauty if not a straightforward idea.
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Intersting piece. Were you high when you wrote it! lol. No idea what it's about but very uintigued to find out. I loved the sahpe of the piece. Creepy write but very weel done.

    Kate xoxoxo
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL, orange...I thinks it's quite intriguing...what on earth does it mean? Well I guess it's okay...maybe...I don't know...keep writing...

    Desser
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Desser | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, you might want to fix the spelling of odor in line three. Second I don't know how this would come accross in Romonia, but it creeps this American out.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the image of this angel that I now have in my mind. I'm still trying to create "octopus eyelashes" in my mind, but that's not a bad thing. I think the shape of this poem is also extremely well done. The hour-glass shape makes me thing of mortality, something the brutal and demonic nature of your angel suggests.

    ~VanillaLeaves
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]


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