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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Orgy On A Meat Slab.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyX
    ASL Info:    27/m/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 932/973/107
    Words: 794
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 2179
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5046



    Description:
       Seclusion is a most natural feeling.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOrgy On A Meat Slab.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some days…
    I can feel on top of the world.
    But these others…
    I don’t feel
    worth the effort my mother exerted
    To give birth to me.
    I do not even amount to the used rubber that failed my father.

    An alcoholic doesn’t drink
    to have fun,
    But merely to dilute his bloodstream.
    And draw the next obscure illusion that will carry him
    By his feet
    And into tomorrow.

    Two semi-gorgeous women sat across the bar.
    They deliberated, huddling with each other.
    Concocted together, the perfect question to ask the guy at the bar by himself.
    They wanted to break the ice, I wanted to break their skulls.
    I didn’t know why.

    My shell,
    A blessing or a curse?
    And has my soul “oopswe’reforgotten!” its whole self away?
    They were going to ask me what I was doing here.
    All I could
    Say to them was…

    “What do you want?”
    “Can’t you see I am drinking a beer?”

    Before they could even ask.

    “Who did your hair?”

    I asked the bartender
    “Are these girls good lookin? I don’t have my eyeballs in!”

    He looked at me
    as though I were a weary old man,
    who’d died
    and had his corpse desecrated
    by a thousand moving vehicles in the busiest intersection in America.
    That’s where I am, isn’t it?
    In horror and guilt, he continued to stare.
    But I am merely a
    22
    year old guy,
    trying to knock back a few drinks
    and dream the night away.

    “They aren’t bad” he said.

    I nodded and waved him off with a flick of the wrist.

    Where did you buy those clothes?

    Do you come here often?

    What do you do?

    How do you do it?

    Men across the playing fields were preoccupied with their lecherous behavior and peculiar drinking games.
    “Go Go Go” they chanted for a 4’5 Chinese girl drinking from a pitcher.
    The man next to her was drinking from…
    What the fuck IS that?
    A feeding tube?

    What do you do for fun?

    Do you have a girlfriend?

    Women are drawn to me.
    I wish I knew the whats, the whys and the hows of which they can throw me away so easily.
    It must be the smug, leave me alone look that I wear out at night.
    Or the staring off into boundless distances.

    Why would they want to befriend a guy who goes to bars alone, anyhow?
    I’m one of them.
    Bad posture, rolls of tummy, perverted grin and insatiable appetite.
    I fit right in this fucking circus.

    Green grass takes its senseless effect.

    Why can’t I be that guy?
    Or that guy?

    That guy over there…or him!

    How about that hobo over there with missing teeth and tattered clothes.
    Why can’t I be that dirty dollar bill he has white knuckled in his left hand.
    Or the young man in the letter jacket and welcome mat on his chest, talking to the ladies over there.

    I could get up from this fucking stool right now…walk over there and show him how its done.
    I can take her home tonight.
    If I wanted to.
    I could hear the frustration in her voice already,
    when she shouts:
    “Three minutes? What the fuck…Three minutes?”

    Excited she’s leaving already, I could hear myself say.

    “Yeah, cause I’m a fucking loser, its more convenient this way. Bye”.

    Drunk…drunker….drunkest.

    Does drunkenness make me better looking or worse…
    Or deader….

    I know shitbrain, deader isn’t a fucking word.
    Why correct your fucking grammar when you can’t take the time to correct your fucking life.
    Look at you; a pathetic piece of shit.

    What’s your sign?
    What do you do for fun?
    What kind of music do you like?
    Are you going to school? What is your major?

    Another bartender just called me by my fucking name.

    “Drink?”

    “What the fuck are you talking about asshole, leave me alone”

    I flung my head into the bar and the resounding thud warranted me undesired attention.
    Drunk.
    Confused.
    Admired…
    And refused.

    Bar tricks are ridiculous science projects presented by bored underpaid teachers who spent half their adult life in a college laboratory flicking class and smoking pot.
    The bartender must have felt the need to entertain me.
    “What is this? Some twisted Christian science?! Get outta here!”

    From the cigarettes see sawing on ashtrays, to the bile in my ice cold throat…
    I’m just a glutton for fucken drunken punishment.

    MBE 04-01-05







    Submitted on 2005-04-13 18:30:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Geeze... so many comments.. I don't think you need mine.. I enjoyed this alot. Interesting thoughts and concepts. Bravo!
    D
    | Posted on 2009-12-30 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]
      You've got a prodigious coal black humor-I read some of your work, and it appears you can turn everything in derision, yourself included with brilliance I might add.Even a satirical piece like "AmericanSingles.com" shows an uncanny perception of your surroundings, like you're completly tuned in with the outside world. That can't be good (for you I mean) to look at life with wide eyes; you're bound to notice too much or feel too much in so little time. Such lucidity makes my skin crawl, and my mind shriek at the thought of all the despair that comes a long with it( Personally, a moment of lucidity leaves me feeling like I'm barking mad). Fortunately,you come out with some wonderfully sad, humorouspiece like "orgy on a meat slab". And it made sens, you know, the absolute need for seclusion (This is enormousfabulation, on my part, but I will indulge you anyway), the person in this piece seemed to be in conjunction with someone with a bit of clarity, so much of it that it makes him feel raw and overwhelmed and he needs to shut down the outside world for a while, enough to rally or make sense of all the commotion within.
    "
    An alcoholic doesn’t drink
    to have fun,
    But merely to dilute his bloodstream.
    And draw the next obscure illusion that will carry him
    By his feet
    And into tomorrow."
    This is my favorite part. My humble opinion (keeping with my theory, probably farfetched ) is that maybe one drinks to stop seeing clearly but blurry when everything and everyone seems handsomer and freer- and life is bearable, light in that way.

    "Why can’t I be that guy?
    Or that guy?
    That guy over there…or him!"

    Oh, who hasn't asked himself/herself that question? Probably, the most conceited, self important [censored] but a lucky one at that! How grand it would be not to wish it. I think, it's not so much about being some hot, intelligent person (maybe a little) but it's much more about getting away from the one person you can never escape, that is yourself. And when your spirits are low, you'd give and do anything to be relieved from the burden and the familiarity of your own thoughts,and feelings.

    Alright, so I will stop my rambling right here. All I can say is that you've got some amazing writing going on!


    Angel
    | Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by Angel_Sin | [ Reply to This ]
      k, im a honest person, so im gonna say exactly what i felt while reading this and you can tell me to go to hell. or you can just listen.
    when i first started reading this and started to really get into it, tears came to my eyes. it was full of emotion.
    a kind of emotion i have felt my whole life.
    i really felt "connected" to this... that sounded so gay.
    meh, oh well.
    some parts made me smile though. kinda pissed rite now because TEARS came to my eyes........
    im just realizing that, gimme a min......
    HOLY HELL. WTF.
    srry i haven't cried in a LONG time.
    ppfffffff..[censored] estrogen. :( [censored].
    anyway, like i was saying this was a very powerful write. and i feel this sometimes. like you just want to drink and go to sleep and forget about it...and you do ...until the sun goes back down.... or you see "happy" ppl or ppl that 'r just like everyone else like they don't feel the emptiness or this world and this life.
    they seem so fake and you just want to rip them to shreds. LITERALLY.
    anyway, ok that's as deep into this as im going.
    just know that you're not the only one that has felt like this before.
    you expressed it really well.
    and my hand is starting to [censored] hurt really bad :P
    i will read more of your work later.
    i rlly like wat i 've read so far.
    especially this.
    ONE WORD:
    FAVS.
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by XmaryjaneX | [ Reply to This ]
      this was funny.I know u were serious in thought about thinking,thinking ,thinking but it was entertaining and i read it even tho it was long.yeahhh...
    awsome write.


    Da Grim Reaperesssss
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      whether fact or fiction, it's incredible.
    it's like you were writing me. i related to every line, felt myself in every line...i was completely drawn in and lost in the words and could feel myself again on that barstool fending off leachy women who want a taste of that "other something" that i have. amazing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      ahh Myx, this makes me feel like im in a bar and very intoxicated, which i've never felt of course. but this is great, it captures everything someone would go through in a bar getting drunk. the weariness, the undesire, the abscense of giving a damn what the people think or who they are. ahh man, you definitly wrote this. it just screams "MyX". its meaningful and funny at the same time, your probably the only writer i know that can do this. great job MyX. as always, funny and fulfilling and satisfying. take care pal


    ~Zach~
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
      damn there's no doubting you were meant to write! this was excellent. I loved the part about the alcholic not drinking for fun- how true...there are so many things that myself and alot of writers overlook that you manage to write an entire piece about not to mention a piece worth reading. noticeing the noter before me...knowledge can be a good thing and you obviously have enough and then some but is that possibly your downfall in the end? the fact that you understand how [censored]ed up everything is? would you be happier if you were in denial or just didn't realize all this? in any case this is very original. it started ok and got better...kinda like most sex rite? :P how irnoic that why so many people like your work is because you don't try to get them to like it and everyone knows you don't need their approval. this is a good example of the way people walk through life...knowing what they have isn't enough and they could change it but not...accepting the complactency. life isn't even good enough to be considered mediocre alot of the time and no one seems to mind. your whole style helps your writngs...the I don't give a [censored] mixed with the I'm not gonna back down thing really shows what alot of others lack. anyway great write.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can feel the weight of your weariness in this poem. It doesn't say "depression" to me. Depressed people can't see straight and are uninspired.

    But that is not you. You see just fine, enough to see outside of yourself, outside of your body into life, into wishing to be someone else.

    Do you know what makes you so heavy? Knowledge. You know the world you live in, you know that grimy little bar from the corner to the door, you know the customers by name, but you do not know yourself. And that makes sense. How can you see the world and yourself at the same time?

    Those who know themselves know little of the world, only how they will react to it. But knowledge of that fuc ked up little world you see is heavy on the mind, too heavy to watch without a drink to dull it.

    Why respond to a question that deserves no response? Why go along when you know the ride is one that goes nowhere? Yes, I see that reasoning here, reasoning that all the ugliness needs a little something to make it bearable.

    The most thought-provoking part: "Why correct your [censored] grammar when you can’t take the time to correct your [censored] life." I find it so true that we live our lives the way we think they should be rather than the way they actually are. Why make the sentence perfect when in reality it's mangled, scribbled nonsense? The futility of trying to reason with life like it can be reasoned, trying to justify all the dust and vomit on that barroom floor like it's all just fine.

    We need our little delusions to keep us alive when we have no will to live. We use our reason to make it all work out when it doesn't.

    And as for the heaviness, I see why you feel it. You're comfortable in that bar, even if you're miserable. You see it and you know it and you have no cause for uncertainty. All possible outcomes now have a predictable result.

    But there is life outside the bar, where all your thoughts and conclusions don't equate. The outside is the unexplored part of you, the part that is afriad to leave the security of what it knows in hopes of something better.

    What can come into the bar to inspire you to leave? Nothing. You know everything and anything that comes onto that familiar ground.

    You feel old at 22 (or 23 now, I guess) because of the lifetime you have spent in that room. Outide of the bar, outside of the world you know, you have not even been born.

    But can you take the leap? Can you leave the life you're festering in to take a look into the other side? The drink in your hand says no, but the yearning for more than this life says yes.
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by WolfStar | [ Reply to This ]
      This is excellent! EXCELLENT! This is so well written and expressed I cant find enough words to say that would justify it! I think, even though I have loved all the writings that I have read from you, that this is the best one yet! So honest and open and you paint this bar scene perfectly! This write held my interest from start to finish and the wording used to describe the situation is brilliant! Your writing is so uniquely descriptive and you have such an original quality and style I can only say again that this is an excellent write and definitely another fave! Just beautiful talent here! See ya!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Jesus, that's good. It's like a surreal look. Here you are, sitting in a bar, wasting away your [censored] life and suddenly you "wake up" - as much as a drunk can - and everyone else there is pretending to have a life, but they're as [censored]ed up as you.

    THAT'S the feeling I got.

    Best use of description: "He looked at me
    as though I were a weary old man,
    who’d died
    and had his corpse desecrated
    by a thousand moving vehicles in the busiest intersection in America."

    Most confusing part: "How about that hobo over there with missing teeth and tattered clothes.
    Why can’t I be that dirty dollar bill he has white knuckled in his left hand.
    Or the young man in the letter jacket and welcome mat on his chest, talking to the ladies over there.

    I could get up from this [censored] stool right now…walk over there and show him how its done.
    I can take her home tonight.
    If I wanted to.
    I could hear the frustration in her voice already,
    when she shouts:
    'Three minutes? What the [censored]…Three minutes?'"

    You already know you're a great writer, so I don't need to expound upon that. I particularly enjoy the random phrases..."What do you do for fun?" "Do you come here often?" It's just a blah blah blah random rambling of pointless [censored], trying to get laid.

    Very good.
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by JKPS613 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's hard to comment on this piece simply because there is so much to it! I love some of the images you use and the original ideas presented in this poem, for example:

    An alcoholic doesn&#8217;t drink
    to have fun,
    But merely to dilute his bloodstream.

    However, some of your lines seem to end in odd places which breaks up the flow of the poem. eg

    All I could
    Say to them was&#8230;

    I don't see that phrase is split up into two seperate lines. It introduces a pause into the phrase which in my view just doesn't belong there.

    Maybe that's too much of a nitpicking detail, beacuse i get the impression the content of this poem is more important than the structure. With your words you create a realistic picture of the situation, and lots of interesting thoughts besides. I would say that the beginning of the poem is better than the end though, it seems like more time went into it.

    On the whole, a very thought-provoking write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]
      is there a thing as too sincere? can somebody honestly be too easy to relate too? its very enticing at first to be able to follow this down with your eyes, and have your head spinning from the intellectual ping pong game you had going... but stylish as it is, i felt more substance was needed. you know what? screw that...theres hardly a need to even be skeptical of something like this. take it or leave. id assume take it for its originality. i suppose i only wish i had a problem of girls talking to me also. i apologize for lack of better criticism, but i shortly realized the lack of good criticism i have for concise and relevant writes such as this. i think you know damn well what you could do to make it better, and you know well also how it was good. thanks
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      is there a thing as too sincere? can somebody honestly be too easy to relate too? its very enticing at first to be able to follow this down with your eyes, and have your head spinning from the intellectual ping pong game you had going... but stylish as it is, i felt more substance was needed. you know what? screw that...theres hardly a need to even be skeptical of something like this. take it or leave. id assume take it for its originality. i suppose i only wish i had a problem of girls talking to me also. i apologize for lack of better criticism, but i shortly realized the lack of good criticism i have for concise and relevant writes such as this. i think you know damn well what you could do to make it better, and you know well also how it was good. thanks
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent.. i really liked this piece.. not because it's good... cause i think it goes back and forth a lot... but because i can relate to it easily...

    i say it goes back and forth because it starts out great... the first two little stanzas captured my attention... reminded me of my ex boyfriend actually.. he talks like that all the time... (how odd).. but anyways.. it starts off nice.. then it has some suckiness.. then it gets good again.. then a slow part... then good... if ya catch what i'm trying to throw at you here...

    ...but... this is a rant.. so i shouldnt try and treat it as anything more, right? and a good rant it is... i drink all the time.. the bartenders dont only know my name, but have my drink of choice waiting for me before i even get to my seat... i sit by myself... pushing away the drunken men that bluntly come up and ask me to go home with them... it must be all the alcohol.. or maybe just the fact that their penises are about to rot off from lack of use... i dont really know anymore.. but i can always count on a few of them a night...

    i totally identify with the stupid intro questions... last week a guy came up to me and asked if i had a fishing liscense... yeah, sure... that means we have something in common... my pants are coming off already...

    but.. i dont want this to sound like i'm some bitter [censored]y women's lib type gal.. and for that matter.. we're supposed to be talking about you here...

    i'm glad you posted this... i like your work usually... it's like a slap in the face for me... a slap in the face that makes me smile instead of wanting to kick your ass... it has a real honest feel to it.. it's not hidden behind fancy words or forms... and i'd much rather read something like that then 100 stupid metaphorical poems written by fake poets trying to emulate their favorite writers (who also suck)...

    thanks for giving me something worthwhile to read...
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, that was really something. a good something too. nicely done. I was there with you feeling all those horrible feelings. You have my empathy and sympathy. not that you want it but I thought this stream of consciousness was very honest and totally about someone on the verge of transformation or wanting to find that transformation. to find some meaning in the superficiality that is life. great poem.
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmn...what to be said of this write...as i told you extremly interesting...but i'm not sure what to say of the whole of it...it seems this person in the write is frustrated with the whole bar thing and people revolving around it...though they find it hard to leave because its what they've always done...or i have no clue...i like this write though the cleverness in the metaphors aren't as well written as some of your other writes though i still enjoyed it because as always you have this outward way of saying things in which people either are stunned you used that as an example so they don't comment...or they are clueless...or they think your brilliant and orignal...which i think your around there ...well o..most...hehe...i can defently say i know not one other person who writes like you...but anywho...babbling like moron...and i'd have to say the first seven lines...great opening...to the write...purps
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      sorry about the first two comments... my pc's busted.

    i admire the vulnerability of the character.

    the thing is, there seems to be this underlying choice of having the power to put life away but still he lingered... pretty much like wasting away in that bar... which in a way symbolizes the bad angle of life itself.

    i think the often straight-forwardness of the piece and the subtle chunks of wordplay were well played out and necessary to keep the readers hungry 'til the coup de grace.

    kinda reminds me of a less flamboyant but still effective version of virginia woolf's style.

    the best thing about it is that... it is presentable but it doesn't come across as something made to please. i think it is more cathartic than it is acceptable in a universal view... but still very much commendable.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      i admire the vulnerability of the character.

    the thing is, there seems to be this underlying choice of having the power to put life away but still he lingered... pretty much like wasting away in that bar... which in a way symbolizes the bad angle of life itself.

    i think the often straight-forwardness of the piece and the subtle chunks of wordplay were well played out and necessary to keep the readers hungry 'til the coup de gr
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      i admire the vulnerability of the character.

    the thing is, there seems to be this underlying choice of having the power to put life away but still he lingered... pretty much like wasting away in that bar... which in a way symbolizes the bad angle of life itself.

    i think the often straight-forwardness of the piece and the sublte chunks of wordplay were well played out and necessary to keep the readers hungry 'til the coup de gr
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      this must be a personal statement, because this is exactly how i see you.
    on the other side.

    and you slipped this one in on the side.

    this is raw and crude and i guess this is appropriate.
    i dont find this as sharp witted as some of your writes, nor as structured of organised as others,
    and certainly not conscientious.
    it is just a
    'this is who i am hate me i hate me and this is how i am going to write about me now fu-ck off.'

    conceptually, it works. as a piece of digestible 'poetry,' there is not enough there that is creative.

    all the same it is not drivel in its drivel.
    you insight the emotions you seem to want, that is for anyone who reads this to want to punch you in the knackers.
    hard.
    then kick them while you are on the floor.
    then feed them back into your mouth once they have been collected from the beer soaked bar floor.

    either you are doing a good job of creating a persona for yourself here,
    or this is just you.

    take care
    on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      I saw the title and expected something different. What I got far surpassed anything I could have imagined. I am hard pressed to find anything else like that on this site. I found it to be completely original. I found nothing wrong with the entire piece. I feel the isolation in this poem. I feel it when I am at school, in which I am a Junior, at home, even at [censored] Wendy's or McDonalds or the mall...Just about anywhere you can imagine. There is a deperate loneliness, a striving for a higher awareness, SOMETHING that I, and you, I imagine, feel. I felt that in this work, and I had to let you know that. People are disgusting. The only trick seems to be to forget the writhing grotesqueness. Thanks for something so enjoyable,
    Melancholy Maid (Samantha)
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by melancholymaid | [ Reply to This ]
      Amen.

    This monster does a nice job of meandering through the inanities (and insanities) of the bar scene. It's a whopper of a poem, but it didn't put me to sleep and ended up being a pretty quick read. I could call it facinating, but then I'd have to wait a few minutes for the smoke to clear . . .

    After I read this, I asked myself, if this is how he feels about it, what brings him back for more? Isn't that the real beyotch about it? I worked the club scene in Chicago for years and your words took me back . . . over a hundred hundred nights of the same shit, dead ending nowhere . . . the cycle continues, only the faces change.

    I apologize for not offering up any witty technical suggestions for improvement . . . its strong enough, even lacking my two cents worth. Peace.

    P.S. This is probably one of the most original writes I've seen here on ES . . . and a fav.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]


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